That she doesn’t fully believe me when I tell her she’s beautiful.
She hasn’t said it, but I can see it.
I canfeelit.
It makes me want to disembowel her ex for the way he tore her down.
But that’s for tomorrow. Or tomorrow’s tomorrow.
Today, right now, all I care about is being here with her.
“You know my favorite thing about you?” I murmur.
Her cheeks go pink, and she shakes her head.
“Your massive, massive heart. The way you put everything you have into caring about everyone around you. Bash. Your friends. Your family. Your community.”
“They take care of me too. It’s not a one-way street.”
“But you’d do the same even if they didn’t.”
She would.
Zero doubt.
She didn’t let Zen and Jack leave without taking eggs, even though they insisted getting to hang with Bash was all that they wanted. She found a way to throw her friends a baby shower so that the community could get what they wanted while not making her friends uncomfortable for feeling like they wereasking people who couldn’t afford what they could to provide for the families they chose to have.
She puts everything she has into making sure Bash knows he’s loved, that his needs are met, and that he knows he matters. Whether it costs her sleep, food, or patience.
And she seems to have infinite patience, which I know isn’t true.
She can’t.
None of us do.
But she reaches for it like she does.
“I haven’t taken care of you yet,” she says softly.
“Yes, you have.” I put a hand to her beating heart. “You let me in here when you didn’t have to. You gave me a chance when I didn’t deserve it.”
“Stop. You did too deserve it.”
“No, I—”
“You need to forgive yourself,” she says softly. “I don’t want to spend the next fifty years with you not knowing if you’re with me out of guilt or obligation or because you truly,trulylike me as a person.”
“Loveyou,” I correct. “I want to spend the next fifty years of my life with you because Iloveyou.”
Her breath catches and her eyes go shiny, but I don’t take it back.
I won’t. Ican’t.
“I love you,” I whisper. “I love you and you deserve to know how worthy you are of being loved for exactly who you are. I love you for being suspicious of me. I love you for giving me another chance. I love you for how you’re raising Bash. I love you for all of the strength that you have that you don’t give yourself credit for. I love you for being the friend I needed in Fiji and for being the friend I still don’t think I deserve here. I love you forembracing your dreams and getting chickens. I love you. I justlove you. For you. For all of who you are.”
Two tears slip down her cheek and nose, and she brushes them away before I can. “Stop. I’m an ugly crier.”
“No, you’re not, but even if you were, I’d love you for that too.”
