The pine-shrouded valley gives way to snowcapped mountains touching the majestic orange glow lighting the wispy clouds in the sky. There’s a hazy softness to the peaks, and the sky has melted from the deep blue I noticed this morning to a soft baby blue hugging the glowing clouds.
So this is why people tolerate the cold.
To not just stare at the landscape from behind glass, but to be part of it. Breathing in the clear air, chilly butalive. Nothing between me and the sky but a few green pine branches. Snow and rock beneath my feet.
The oddest sense washes over me, and it takes me longer than it should to recognize it.
Belonging.
Belonging in my very existence. One with nature. Here with purpose. Accepted into the surroundings because nature made me too. No judgment. No manipulation.
Simply being as a tiny dot here in this vast array of beauty.
There’s a pull deep in my chest.This is where you’ll make a difference.
It’s vastly different fromthis is where justice will give you peace.
I suck in a deep breath, the extra burst of chilly air pulling me back to myself. Sabrina and Jitter have stepped over to stand on a rocky outcropping. She’s holding her phone up and snapping a picture.
“You’ve lived here your whole life and you still take pictures.” I don’t want to disturb the peace, but I can’t not comment on it.
She doesn’t look back at me. “It’s still beautiful.”
Jitter plops down into the snow and pants happily, and once again, there’s that pull.
I miss my dog. I miss laughing. I miss believing in the good in people.
And I’ve never stopped wanting to feel like there could be a place in this world that I belong. Where I could trust more than a small handful of people.
I look back at the mountain peaks, shadowed by the glowing orange clouds, and wonder how long it’ll stay.
Then I steal another look at Sabrina.
She’s squatting next to Jitter, pouring water into a small collapsible dish for him as he laps it up before she’s done. She finishes pouring, snaps the bottle shut, tucks it back into a side pocket in her backpack, and then rubs his neck. “Who’s such a good boy?”
He grins at her, then goes back to drinking.
While lying in the snow.
He’s so fucking adorable.
“Good boy,” she says again, then she rises and looks back at the sunset over the mountains. “We need to go soon though.”
“You have somewhere to be?”
“I always have somewhere to be.”
“You don’t sit still well.”
“I don’t doalonewell.”
“But you don’t date.”Shut up, idiot. Quit pushing it.
“Okay, Mr. Travels with His Nibling Personal Assistant.”
She bends over Jitter again, rubs his ears, and kisses the top of his head before gathering his water bowl, wiping it out, popping it flat, and tucking it back into her bag. “C’mon, Jitter. Time to go home.”
He straightens and stretches, looking bigger than Sabrina herself.
