“Fine. There you have it, then. Can’t date her. So just get over her.”
Nope.
Definitely not stomaching that beer.
Kory heaves a sigh and leans his chair back on its back two legs. “Since you’re clearly not interested in my advice aboutnotdating her, and since she’s way more than even I gave her credit for when she got here, let’s try this the other way. You can’t go through life without getting hurt, my friend. So you choose. Do you take the risk that it’s worth it, or do you keep hiding behind all the lies you’ve told yourself about being happy alone and not deserving someone to love you?”
I don’t bother denying any part of his analysis of me.
He’s not wrong.
“You let Maisey and June know you—the real you—and neither one of them will be able to argue that you’re bad for anyone. So make up your mind. If you’re in, go all in. If you’re out, quit being a grumpy asshole and go back to just being an overcommitted crank.”
I grunt. “Where’s your love-muffin?”
He beams. “Chicago. Got a special invitation to a big show. And don’t think for a minute that me pulling out my phone to show you pictures means you’re off the hook and I’m forgetting about this conversation.”
“Sure.”
“Also, your landlady and I jointly ordered, like, six cords of wood, and she mentioned making sure her tenant had enough, since you’re ridiculous and insist on renting a place heated only with a woodburning stove all winter like we live in the Dark Ages. So you can rest easy that you won’t need to stock up on her behalf. Oooh, look. Have I shown you this outfit yet? He spentforty-six daystweaking it and driving me up the wall, but how awesome are those sequins?”
I pick up my beer and pretend I’m drinking it while Kory flips through photos.
I get it.
I hear him.
The problem with me and Maisey? It’s me. It’s all in my head. And the part that isn’t me isn’t something I can fix.
She’s not wrong to put June first.
She’s not wrong to putherselffirst.
So I’ll pull my head out of my ass, accept that I have the world’s largest crush on the world’s most unavailable woman, and that if I still feel the same way about her in two years that I do today,thenmaybe I’ll act on it.
But not a day before.
If I survive that long.
Chapter 18
Maisey
The day I decided to divorce Dean, I also decided I would never, ever,everlet another man into my head, my heart, or my vagina.
The day my mom was arrested, I realized just how much I needed to straighten out my priorities with Junie too.
So dealing with Flint Jackson and his constant presence in my life, in my head, and in my dirty fantasies isnotconvenient. He’s not my top priority. He’s not even in my top dozen priorities.
So I’m keeping him at arm’s length for Junie, and it’s a sacrifice I’ll happily make. Especially knowing it’s probably best for me long term anyway.
Even if it’s completely wearing me down to be back here, at the edge of the soccer field on a cold Saturday morning, watching as he huddles with the group of kids during a time-out in a very tight first playoff game in late October.
“How’s the dog situation?” I ask Charlotte, who’s beside me with a steaming coffee tumbler.
She huffs. “As expected, my ex thinks the dog’s better at my house, which means I now have five children to manage. But the kids love her. They really do. So it’s ... just one more thing that one day will pay off when they spend all of their holidays with me instead of him.”
I lift a brow.
