For the first time in my life, I don’t mind that saving takes work.
She’s worth the effort.
Chapter 24
Maisey
Normal.
I can act normal.
It’s not easy sneaking back into my own house when I can still smell my orgasm on me, knowing my teenager’s like a bloodhound when anything’s out of the ordinary. But I call out a cheery, “Hi, Junie, I’m back,” as if everything’s normal, because if I believe it’s normal, then it’s normal, right?
That orgasm wasnotnormal, but I’ll contemplate that later.
Along with how much I need a time machine so that I can both leap ahead to this weekend and come right back here because my time with Junie is limited and I don’t want to miss a moment.
She appears in the doorway to the kitchen, a pint of ice cream in hand, a spoon sticking out of the treat. “What’s with you? You look weird.”
Dammit dammit dammit.Hello, guilt. Lovely to see you. “What? I don’t look weird. You look weird.”
And now I’m cringing.
Probably not just to myself.
Junie’s face twists in a classic teenageAdults are so weird and confusing, and I’m not going to be that dork when I grow uplook. “Dad called.He invited me to spend Thanksgiving with him and Grandma and Grandpa and my next stepmother.”
Happy orgasm glow all gone.“What?”
She pulls a face. “I’m not dumb, Mom. He hasn’t proposed yet—unless that’s why you’re being a total weirdo—but he will. He couldn’t even tie his shoelaces without you. There’s no way he can survive being a bachelor. Plus, it’ll improve ratings on his show if he’s all over every magazine while she’s planning the wedding.”
I can’t find words.
I know I have them.
But she’s rendered me unable to find the right ones.
“Ah—oh. Um. So. Do you—do youwantto go spend Thanksgiving with your dad?”
She shrugs.
Yes!My inner scorekeeper crows.She still likes me more!
Won’t last long once she figures out where her least favorite teacher just had his tongue and hands,my inner guilt monster replies.
I shut them both down—the more important part here is that Junie knows she’s loved and feels confident in whatever decision she makes.
I can compartmentalize. I can have a fling with Flint and also be a good mom.
I get to be both.
Don’t I?
Out of your head, Maisey. Get out of your head.
I remind myself I could ask her if she wants cookies for dinner and get the same shrug, and I decide the important thing is making sure she’s comfortable with whatever decision she makes. “Well, think about it, and if you do, that’s okay with me. I’d love to have Thanksgiving with you, but I understand and support you getting to see your dad too.”
She stares at me. “Don’t you hate him?”
