“When do we get to come over for game night at your place?” Jack asks.
“Dude, I only want in if they’re not doing freaky newlywed stuff in those. Like, I need to see it bleached before I climb in,” Decker calls.
“Isn’t your yard pretty hilly, Chandler?” Lucky chimes in.
“Oh my god, they’re the perfect size for my dog too!” Sabrina says.
“Why?” Laney whispers to me, her voice strangled like she’s trying not to laugh still.
“Who doesn’t need a set?” I whisper back with a conspiratorial grin.
She muffles another laugh behind her palm.
Home fucking run.
Except for the part where Chandler’s turning a glacial glare on me.
He doesn’t say anything.
Doesn’t have to.
Emma looks at me too, and she winces.
Dammit.
Justdammit.
When does she takemyside?
She told me she wanted a set. Dad had a paper sitting out at Thanksgiving with all of the holiday shopping ads in it, and we were looking through it before Chandler got his panties in a bunch, and she pointed to the human hamster balls and cracked up and said they’d be fun.
“Where’s the real present?” Chandler asks.
“Honey, we’re getting married in paradise,” Emma says. “It doesn’t matter.”
“He stole my real present. He swapped my dinner, and he stole the real present.”
Laney snaps straight.
“Don’t—” I start, but it’s too late.
“The tacos are my doing,” she announces. “Resort catering goofed. There wasn’t food. I got tacos. And that’s anawesomepresent. If you don’t want it, I’ll take it back. The resort goofed there too. It was a glitchy day. You’re infucking paradise. Quit being a baby.”
“…do that,” I finish.
Chandler gapes at her.
Emma’s face has twisted into such utter confusion that she probably can’t see straight.
“But—but—but you don’t do funny shit,” Chandler says.
Emma winces harder. “Chandler—”
“And you know I hate tacos,” he adds.
“Emma loves them.” The deadly calm in Laney’s voice has such a high degree of warning in it that my balls should be shriveling into cold, dead, dried-out walnuts.
Instead, having her defend me—and make no mistake, everyone on this lanai knows that’s what she’s doing—is making me want her.
