Phoebe walked in on me trying out a new truffle recipe a few weeks back, and while she’s kept my secret for me—other than apparently telling Teague—and she knows that I’m launching a chocolate business, she doesn’t know all the details, and I can’t ask for the one thing I need.
I don’t want to be beholden to Lightly money—or anything related to Lightly money—for any part of the rest of my life.
So I don’t tell her I own a cacao farm that I very soon won’t be able to afford.
Naomi’s right.
I need help to solve this.
And she’s right that I need Samantha, and I can’t even process all the waysthatcould go wrong, especially now that I’m tighter with some of my family.
They might actuallynoticethis time.
“Production is almost ready for launch,” I tell Phoebe. “We’re just hitting ... a few little snags.”
“Tell me your snag isn’t worrying that Mom will find out and tell you that you’re going to get fat.”
I wince. “Is it wrong to say I don’t miss her? I’ve been ducking all of her calls about some new designs she wants me to put on my socials, and I’m sure she thinks it’s because she left or that I’m mad that she never told us she cheated, but I just ... with her gone, it’s like I havepeace.”
“She tried to live out her dreams through you instead of letting you learn who you wanted to be for yourself. I wouldn’t miss her if I were you.” She wrinkles her nose. “I honestly think she learned a lot here, and I think if you’d talk to her and set some boundaries, you two could have a real relationship, but no, I wouldn’t miss her, either, right now if I were you.”
And this is why I could see myself being friends with the new Phoebe. “This place has been really good for you, hasn’t it?”
“Unexpectedly so.” She shakes her head. “Back toyou. Every business hits snags. You eventually learn to prepare for them. What’s wrong? Supply chain? Raw materials? Workers? Quality?”
“Time. It just takestime. And then there’stiming, becauseperishable.”
The look she’s leveling at me now tells me she knows there’s way more thantimecomplicating my life. “How are you paying for all of this?”
“With money, like a good businesswoman. Duh.”
She stares at me for three more beats, then sighs heavily and leans out in the hallway again. “If you need anything—”
“I’ve got this. It’s just time. But thank you.”
I know there are people who’d call me dumb for not asking her for what I need, butI can’t.
Not only would asking Phoebe for money be like tying myself tighter to the family I’d like to break free from—we’re truly awful, we are, and I don’t want to be like this anymore—but it would also be admitting that I can’t do this to the one person my mother has always told me is better than me.
She’s so smart, Tavi. Not like you.
She’s such a great businesswoman, Tavi. It’s a good thing the internet likes your looks.
She’s so driven, Tavi. You and Carter could both learn a thing or two from her.
I have to do this on my own.
I have to prove I can be something other than a made-up face on the internet.
That I’m more than a big disappointment.
And if, while I’m at it, I can save a small part of the world—the land, the people, their history, and their future—all the better.
She shakes her head. “I seriously don’t know how you do it all. Your socials are still running,you’restill running like three marathons a day,you’re cleaning this place every time I stop by, and you’re building your ownthingfor yourself. Are you sleeping? For real?”
I’ve mentioned I hate mornings, right? “Eight hours a night!”
“Tavi.”
