My team is paid to hold my hair when I puke. With Aunt Zinnia taking me in after my mom died, and the stomach issues I’ve had all my life, she’s been there for my more awkward moments more times than I can count.
And yes, Cooper handed management of me over to my staff, but he stayed. And he made it super clear that if I wasn’tWaverly Sweet, most important person in the world—gag me—he would’ve left them out of it and stayed on his own.
But the biggest thing?
He texted like he said he would.
Ignore me if I said something about Oompa Loompas in the driveway last night. Weird dreams. Totally normal. Thanks for asking to talk. Felt good to hang out with you again.
He added a gif of himself blowing a kiss that the Fireballs used in a promotional video last year.
And I’ve been pretending I don’t want to swoon all day long.
“Cooper and I had this little fling like eight years ago,” I whoosh out.
It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud.
Ever.
When you’re nineteen and you think you’re in love with the first guy to give you an orgasm, and then he disappears with no further contact, you assume you’re high maintenance. Not worth it. That he wanted one thing, and then he found it better somewhere else.
And when your aunt basically confirms all your fears out loud and says it’ll be better if you forget it ever happened, you feel so much shame and embarrassment that you want to do exactly that.
You don’t want people to know your failures.
Not when it’s critical that you come off looking perfect.
“Oh my god,” Aspen whispers.
“And there’s apparently a lot more to the story of why he disappeared than I thought there was, so I asked him to come over last night to talk about it, and then…well, then there wasrevenge of the small crustaceansin my gut, and he didn’t bail. He stayed, and we barely got to talk about what I wanted to talk to him about, but he stayed and made sure I was okay and comfortable, and now I’m both super confused and super clear on what I want.”
“He ghosted you?Why?”
I wave the question away. “Would you give someone a second chance if it turned out that they had a good reason for leaving and you could forgive them for being young and stupid since you were kinda young and stupid too, and you thought they wanted a second chance, which it felt like he did, even if he’s known for noteverseriously dating anyone and your last serious partner was cheating on you and neither one of you really has time for an actual relationship right now?”
“Why did he ghost you?” she repeats.
“That’s not an answer to my question.”
“But it’s critical information in order for me to answer your question.”
“You are such a hard-ass.”
“I don’t earn friends by dancing around the hard stuff.”
This one’s tough.
If I tell her, I feel like I’ll be on the cusp of betraying the only family I have.
But if I don’t talk to someone about this, I’m afraid I’ll be betraying myself.
So I find the best compromise I can. “He felt like he’d hold me back if we took things any further, and he thought I could—well, that I could dothis.” I wave my hand around the room, around my outfits and makeup and the crew waiting outside and the entirety of my larger-than-life life.
“He decided all on his own that you were going to be on top of the world and that dating him would hold you back?”
I roll my eyes.
She doesn’t blink.
