I can’t sit, but I can’t stand.
I need tomove.
“We got you, Coop,” Brooks says. “Let me make a phone call.”
“If it was Henri, I’d move heaven and earth,” Luca says. “World Series be fucking damned.”
“If it was Henri, we’d all move heaven and earth,” Francisco says.
“If it wasanyof our family, we’d move heaven and earth,” Darren says. “That’s why we’re Fireballs. Because we’re family.”
“I love her,” I whisper again.
“Then you know what you have to do.” Robinson hands me a towel. “We got your back. You go do what you have to do.”
The World fucking Series.
Everything I’ve ever wanted my entire life.
And I know if I walk out that door, I might never come back.
But if I don’t walk out that door—
I don’t finish the thought.
I can’t.
Because I’ve finally found that one thing that will always—always—be more important than baseball.
37
Waverly
My favorite thingabout my mom’s house is that it has the very best security system known to man.
Aunt Zinnia is completely and totally locked out now that I’ve changed the gate code to Cooper’s parents’ anniversary date. She won’t guess that one.
My security team is banished to the exterior perimeter too.
Before I kicked Hiramys out, after I told her what I need her and the rest of my team to do, I made her block the internet from my phone completely, lest I’m tempted to look at all the tabloid reports, and I made her take my computer and tablet as well.
I could check the baseball game, but I’m so mad for so many reasons, not the least of which is mad at myself for not blowing off my schedule today to be there for Cooper, and then being mad at Cooper for doing the impossible and leading his team to the World Series.
I’m so damn happy for him and nervous for him, and I’m so damn angry that I can’t get to him in time.
I had too much to do after that disastrous interview.
I would’ve called him to tell him that I’m packing right now, that I’m on my way and I’ve finally justsnapped, but I don’t want him to hear the panic in my voice.
I don’t want him to know this is the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
I don’t want to mess with his dreams when he’s on the cusp of the one thing everyone but him thought was impossible only two years ago.
What if he feels it while he’s playing and I’m watching and then I mess with his game?
What if he doesn’t feel it and I start to fear we have no future because the man I’m supposed to be with would be able to psychically feel it when I need to be with him this badly?
What if losing my mom at a young age and then being raised by my aunt and put on a path to succeed succeedsucceedmeans that I’m physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of loving another person and putting them first, and I need to let him go instead?
