“Swear to the baseball gods, if you suddenly appear in this hotel room…”
“Stop talking and take your pants off. I’m trying to talk dirty to you here.”
Hashtag yowls in protest, gets something stuck in his throat, and then flies off my lap, which undoubtedly means he’s about to hark up a hairball.
Cooper sighs. “Good call. Way less pressure. But there’s a baby dragon staring at me from my arm, and now I feel like the bad kind of perv.”
“Stop looking at the baby dragon if you want to have phone sex with me.” I’m trying to be serious, but it’s utterly impossible.
“Okay. Okay. Jacket’s off too, butshit. I forgot I have Fiery all over the sleeves of my dress shirt. He’s angry. I showed his baby girl my hard-on, and now I’m a dead man.”
“Cooper.” I’m cracking up. “They’re not real.”
“I’ve never had phone sex and I’m getting very nervous right now.”
I choke on my laugh. “Wait. You’ve never had phone sex?”
“I, ah, have always been more of an in-person for a couple hours kind of guy.”
I’m momentarily stunned. He had no problem talking dirty in the bedroom. I never considered phone sex would be different.
“And there goes Mr. Happy,” he sighs.
I need to say something, but I’m startled and can’t figure out what to say that won’t sound completely wrong.Come back, Mr. Happyis not the last thing I want to say to him before he has to go.
“I have a code.” His words come out rushed, and it’s not hard to picture his ears going red at the tips or those fascinating blue-green eyes darting around the room before settling on me to own up to his truth. “Hada code. One night only, just for fun and to fuel the superstition. If I got the needy vibes, I bailed before we got to the hotel. If I got the freaky vibes, same thing. Hotels only, even when I was home. No baseball groupies either, because they’d show back up the next time I was in town, and I meant it when I saidone night only.”
“You don’t have to explain this to me.” Translation: I don’t want to know.
“When I talk dirty to you, I want to be able to look you in the eye and feel the way your body’s responding, and I want you to be there with me, one hundred percent, not checking your calendar or watching TV or getting your makeup put on while you tell me to jerk myself off.”
Well.
My panties are sufficiently soaked now.
“I want to know you’re getting off too, and that you’re all-in, and my hand is no substitute for you. Not even close. And—”
“Jesus, Cooper, put that thing away,” a voice barks on the phone. “God. My eyes.My eyes. You’re fifteen minutes late and you’re jerking off in front of Baby Ash? What the fuck’s wrong with you?”
I jolt to my feet and look at my own hotel door, which is thankfully shut.
Pretty sure that’s Luca Rossi.
“I’m not jerking off!” Cooper sputters. “I thought I had a spot on my dick but I can only look at it when I’m hard!”
“Call the fucking team doctor. Let’s go. And don’t you dare have a bad game today. Jesus. I amneverdrawing the short straw again. Darren rigged this. That fucker. I’m telling Henri, and she’s gonna make this even worse in a book for you.Jesus.”
“I don’t have a spot on my dick,” Cooper whispers. “Text me later. Please.Please.”
“Tell Luca I said hi,” I manage to push out. I’m caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry.
But I most definitely want to hop in the shower myself and have some time with a special friend hiding in my suitcase.
Unfortunately, my own hotel room door swings open too.
Aunt Zinnia looks me up and down, and her gaze finally lands on my phone.
Her lip curls.
