When he looked back up, Sera was twisting her fingers together and avoiding his eyes.
“It doesn’t work, does it? Did you notice the error on the second page? I completely missed an obvious exponent, though I did find it before it threw the entire estimated fuel calculation way off. But… um, if you want someone with experience to look it over, that would make sense…”
“Sera.” He couldn’t listen to her doubt herself a second longer. He settled his arms behind his back, to keep from touching her. “I’m afraid I’ve made a grave oversight in asking you to be my secretary.”
Fear filled her eyes.
“You are far superior to the task and I am hiring you to lead this project.”
“Wait…”
He had avoided her for days. Avoided all potential lapses in judgment, avoided looking into her eyes and crumbling to her every demand, avoided seeking out her touch when it was the only time he’d felt any degree of pleasure in well over a decade. All that restraint to buckle now. He couldn’t tolerate another second of her self-doubt.
“If all goes well, I don’t foresee an issue with you being hired on as a city planner. I’d even sponsor your training, if required, but I need you to understand something, Seraphina.” He watched her pupils dilate, felt her body sway toward him—he had moved much too close when he left his desk—and he understood that she now hung on his every word. That his opinion in this moment mattered. “You are not stupid.”
Her lips parted, breath puffing into the air between them. He needed to retreat before he did something he truly regretted.
Foolishly, he continued, “I don’t know what happened to alter your perception of this fact, but this is not the first time I’ve noticed your genius.”
“Genius?” She frowned, suddenly turning away. “Maybe I could believe if you didn’t find me simple, but a genius? Hardly.”
“Do I strike you as a man given to jests or exaggeration?”
She shook her head.
“Then you understand that I don’t use the term genius lightly, nor do I believe it to be in error. I have no head for numbers, I admit that looking at your work has all the effect of reading Demonic—not a language I have any knowledge of—and yet I do know finances and even I can see the thought behind this solution was not acquired by chance. Should I continue? The table in my home.”
She winced. “I didn’t think you’d notice.”
He stepped forward, into her space. Too close. He towered over her. “I notice everything, Seraphina. A table that has satin my family’s home for generations, damaged long before I was born, suddenly sturdier than when it was originally crafted? Not a feat done by a simpleton with nothing to offer the world outside her appearance and charm. I don’t understand why you doubt your brilliance but listening to you belittle your capabilities borders on intolerable.”
“My mother…” Sera’s shoulders were tight, bunched up to her ears.
He was close enough to sense how her entire body hummed with some sort of tension. Seeing her like this, so unsure and shy, made him…he couldn’t quite name the unsettled, angry, almost helpless emotion demanding his attention.
“Mother always told us we were stupid. Reading wasn’t easy for us and Mother was from an upper-class family, a family that expected every child grasp reading as a basic lesson. Mother married below her station when she settled for Papa and then she had two children, both unable to grasp something that she insisted to be simple. And my father was always gone, always working. Because of us, of course. Gideon and I cost more than they could afford. When he worked himself to death, Mother never forgave us.”
Kieran listened while fury pounded in his limbs. “I am not one to speak ill of the dead,” he began, saying the words slowly.Ten. Nine. “Given my gift and status as a Winter Fae, death holds a certain sacred profundity for me. But know that I hold no such regard for your mother’s memory. There is no excuse for such cruelty and if she were alive, I would say as much outright.”
He was still too close to her. Close enough for almonds to mix with the scent of her tears. Close enough that the slightest provocation would send him over the edge.
Emotion welled in her eyes and he would undoubtedly question his next actions for days. The line between decency and caring, so easily blurred where Sera was concerned. He wasdetermined that Sera not believe the worst of herself, especially when it was unfounded in reality.Decency. When her tears started to fall and his hand rose to gently wipe them from her cheeks.Caring.
His fingers were light against her skin. He knew the dangers of contact with her, braced for the electric pleasure that shot through him. The gesture, while founded in genuine regard for her hurt, turned to something more when she leaned.
The faint shift in the air was tangible, noticeable. Even without the blush creeping into her cheeks or the tilt of her head as she nuzzled his fingers or the swipe of her tongue over her parted lips.
His gaze dipped to her mouth.
The opportunity to end these weeks of suffering dangled before him. If he advanced, if he allowed this moment to become more, then she might come to her senses and rebuff him. Her ‘no’ would be his salvation, the best-case scenario that allowed him to continue to protect her. Her body may want him, but he was holding out hope that her head didn’t.
He dared not move. Dared not take a breath. His fingers still rested on her cheek, her body slowly opening to him, almost imperceptibly.
Except he was a damned fae and he could sense every damn thing. And the reality was inescapable. While he hoped she would turn him away, all evidence suggested that any advance would be met with unrestrained acceptance.
Even while losing the battle for his control, Kieran knew that he could not kiss Sera. Not if he hoped to keep any distance between them, however paltry.
Maybe he was going insane. Maybe he just ached to kiss her with a ferocity that scared him and if he couldn’t taste her again, then maybe he could at least touch her.
