Her lips clamped shut. She could hardly argue with Death itself looming over her. She rotated her shoulder, sensing the shadow’s presence like she felt eyes on her back.
“Fine,” she mumbled.
“Good day, Mr. Blair,” Kieran addressed with a bow, then slipped from the room so fast Sera almost missed it.
“Is ‘Captain’ that hard to remember?” Gideon snorted, then crossed his arms, adopting an easy stride toward the sitting room now that they were alone.
She sensed the reprimand coming when his lips formed into a tight line. He closed his eyes and Sera held her breath for the comments, the judgment. Gideon could be so holier than thou simply because he didn’t have an arrest record.
After a moment, Gideon took a deep breath. “I don’t need to know. You’re… you’re a grown person. Woman.” He shook his head, like he was forcing unpleasant images away and Sera almost smiled. “What you do is your business. Just… just know that if anyone takes advantage, you can come to me. I’ve tried to be there for you all these years, but… maybe not as hard as I should have.”
Sera plopped onto the couch and fell over so her upper body draped across the cushions. “I haven’t made it easy.”
He sat across from her, his muscled frame almost too big for the chair and he stretched his long legs out as he slouched. “No, you certainly haven’t.”
She glared. He smiled. In seconds they were both laughing.
“I just want this to be over,” she said, after the laughter died down. “I’m not… it’s so…” She threw her arm over her forehead and huffed.
“Maybe you like him, Sera.” Gideon shrugged when she nearly rolled off the couch, gawking openly. “I mean, there are worse options out there. He’s got means. You wouldn’t have to struggle anymore. Sounds like a decent set-up. If you like him, that is. Which,” Gideon finished through his teeth, “appears to be the case.”
“What are you suggesting? That I marry Kieran?”
“It’s how things are done, right? The Big Goal where us perpetually single people are left unfulfilled.” He snorted, like the idea was ridiculous. If she knew her brother at all, he was not at risk of feeling ‘unfulfilled’ if his conquests were any indication. “Course, you’d have to be okay with the spotlight, being a human married to a fae politician. That botched engagement between Graves and that human woman was all anyone talked about for months.”
Sera hadn’t considered that particular issue. Sure, she’d had all sorts of mixed relationships. What did she care for someone’s bloodline if they were attractive enough? But as a human, if she sought a real relationship with a high ranking Winter Fae, then suddenly she’d be ‘the first’ and ‘how are they compatible?’ and ‘how does she handle the frigid temperature?’
“Look, you don’t have to get all sullen on me. I’m only trying to say that if you wanted the guy, and were willing to endure a bit of gossip, then you’d be set for life. No matter what happened later.”
“What do you mean ‘no matter what happened later?’”
Gideon’s face hardened, his eyes retreating. He was concealing something and she got the sense that she did not want to know what was going through his mind right now. “I’m sorry I said anything,” he said, shifting in his seat. He looked everywhere but her. “I’m not the person to be talking about this.”
“Yeah, that’s an understatement.”
“I was trying to be helpful," he bit back.
Sera growled and buried her face in her hands. “What does it matter? If I try… I’ll just fuck it up like I always do.”
She let the admission weigh her down. She hadn’t wanted to admit it, not even to herself, but all the danger of her heart aside, perhaps she was more afraid of sabotaging a good thing. Her past was a string of disappointments, relationships she wasn’t sad to see the back of, whether she had caused their end or not.But if she fucked up a potentially good thing? If her chance at a real future was ruined because ofher, becauseshewas the problem, that was unbearable.
“You could stay here,” Gideon offered.
And it was the perfect solution, except that it was the last thing she wanted to do. “No, I couldn’t leave Seth. He’s had so few luxuries; I want him to enjoy it while he can.”
“Well, it’s a standing offer. And you can stop by, sometimes. I’m not home often, but, still.”
Sera sat up. That was enough heart to heart for one evening. Her relationship with her brother was not something that could be solved in an hour. She stood up and kicked playfully at Gideon’s legs. “Is this your way of saying you missed me?”
“Not a chance.” His smile suggested otherwise.
Sera stopped in front of the door, hesitating.
“What’s wrong?” Gideon asked, as she picked at a chip in the door frame.
“Nothing I’d share with you,” she quipped. And it felt like they were fourteen again. Which felt good. Better than the mess that started once they turned eighteen and he went off to war, leaving her behind. “But, I’m not sure how to handle this whole… whatever you want to call it.”
“Relationship?”
