He snickered and she kicked his leg.
“Fine, a lot. But…” She sighed, teeth catching her bottom lip as she stared at the canopy and twirled a strand of hair over her finger. “Fuck. He smelled so good. He was tender, gentle, but somehow frenzied. His hands drew me closer, but not aggressively or possessive, it was… romantic, but in a way that made my legs weak. It was as if he was caught off guard by how good it felt. By how goodIfelt.” Her gaze was far away. Or, rather, her gaze was several hallways away, reliving the touch and sound and taste. She could have survived a long time on that memory alone.
Seth lowered to his side beside her, leaning on his arm. “You sound like you’re ready to swoon.”
“Oh gods, I do.” She sat up. “Oh fuck, I think I did.”
“You’re the one who told me, never fall. Keep love out of it.”
“I did not say love just now.”
“Well, you sound half ready to carve your names in a heart.”
She growled and hit him with her pillow. “Fine. I get it. I just… I am having a real hard time coming up with a reason to not see where this goes. If he kisses like that…” She squeezed her thighs together, closing her eyes until she was back in that dark room, about to be ravaged by a god.
“It’s your rule. Don’t get invested, don’t fall in love. I’m not trying to be that guy, but he’s a wealthy politician from a generationally prestigious family. He doesn’t pick people like us.”
“I don’t want him to marry me, Seth.” No, she wanted just a few sleepless nights alone exploring all the ways that Kieran North could surprise her.
“You might, if you fall in love with him. And if you sleep with him, what do you think your heart will do then? If his kiss is so great—which, I’m still struggling to accept—what happens when he’s the best you’ve ever had and then—boom, he’s done and you’re on the street again?”
“Then I just put myself back together like I always do,” she argued, knowing that he had a point. She wasn’t in too deep yet, she still had the chance to end this before it got out of hand. Before she got hurt again.
“And what if he doesn’t cast you aside?”
Sera’s breath caught. He was right. If Kieran ended up being some real, genuine promise of a future where she could be loved and happy that was so much worse. Because Sera incited disaster, it was her only constant in life. She was doomed to ruin this. Having happiness in her hands and being the reason she lost it again would be unbearable.
“What are you going to do?” he asked, watching her face. “Do we run?” Seth’s gaze swept out to the room. She saw the loss in his eyes, how he’d miss the comforts and the lavish accommodations, but she also knew if she asked him to run with her, he would. Seth was the only man aside from her brother shetrusted unequivocally. Probably because those were the only two male relationships she had that didn’t involve sex.
You trust Kieran.
Sera glared at that little voice in her head.No. She did not trust him.Shut up.
“We’re not running. Not yet. Get some sleep. I’ll figure it out,” she said.
Seth crawled back to his bed, snuggling down into the hellfire he found comfortable. She went to open the window and let the cool air brush against her cheeks. She had never felt so… untethered. Even when faced with difficult situations, she always knew what she had to do, what her next step would be. It wasn’t always ideal, but it was a plan. A goal. A way to get from one day to the next in one piece. Here, now, she wasn’t sure of anything, let alone her next move.
If her heart was entering into the equation, then that was a sign to pull back. No more Game. No more flirtation. He was too close to reaching past her defenses, to breaking through her walls. Making her vulnerable. It didn’t matter if she believed he was truly kind or not, Sera had a strict no heart policy.
Sera fell onto her—thebed. She could make plans in the morning. For now, she wanted to indulge her dreams a little longer before tomorrow, where she had to accept that the Game was over and that she had kissed Kieran for the last time.
Chapter Seven
Aknockonthedoor roused Sera from sleep. She shielded her eyes from the sun and fell from the bed trying to get to the floor while half blinded.
Seth was already awake, reading near the fire and wrapped in vines. “Who is it?” He yelled to the door and smiled as he watched her fumble.
It was strange, living in someone else’s home like this. One was never sure if the room was truly ‘theirs’ and what that might mean in terms of privacy. Yet the servants always knocked and waited for permission to enter.
“Meera, sir. I was told to fetch the pair of you. Whenever you’re dressed and ready.”
Sera sat upright on the floor and lifted a shoulder at the same time Seth’s face scrunched in question. “Uh, okay. Fetch us for what?” He asked, shooing away the vines carefully, so as not to damage any leaves.
Sera clapped a hand over her mouth. Oh no. “He’s kicking us out,” she whispered.
Seth snatched up his plush, embroidered throw blanket. “No!” He whispered back, though not as quietly.
“Oh, um, you are not being kicked out, sir.”Stupid fae hearing.
