Inside his carriage, they proceeded to their next stop. Kieran eyed Sera as Seth asked to be taken to Varian’s home in the Garrison. A bachelor’s lodgings that occupied Garrow Street, where spacious apartments and town homes had once been frequented by second sons who wouldn’t inherit their familial estates. Varian had inherited everything, but still chose to stay in the heart of the city. He had enough funds to see that the temperature was kept cold and that all iron would have been removed from the lodgings.
Sera’s smile had slipped with Seth’s request, but her back straightened and she attempted a light-hearted tone as she agreed. Kieran could tell it was a performance for Seth’s benefit that stemmed from her fears he would forget about her in favor of Varian. Kieran was certain that Seth was fully capable of balancing Sera’s friendship with a romantic relationship, but Sera’s fear remained.
Seth must have detected the same false cheer. “What? What’s wrong, Sera?”
“Nothing! Nothing is wrong, obviously. If you want to go stay with Varian I mean, I’m sure his home is lovely…”
Seth chuckled. “Listen, it’s way too early to be moving anywhere.” He addressed Kieran, “I assume I’m okay to stay for a bit longer?”
“As long as needed. It hardly matters anymore.”
“Thanks, I think.”
Kieran shrugged. “Your presence has become routine, and it’s not like I don’t have the space.”
“See? Sera, I’m not leaving yet, but, if I did, you know that doesn’t mean I’ll stop being your friend.” Seth scooted closer and trapped her in the blanket with him. Kieran had needed at least some semblance of cold after the sweltering heat of the fire and summer air. His headache and nausea were only just starting to subside.
“People always say that, and then the new love becomes the most important thing until the past is completely forgotten. Varian is from a different world than we are. You’ll make friends with rich people or people of influence. You won’t want to waste your time with me.”
“That won’t happen. Sera, you’re practically my sister. In fact, you were mentioning those dinners with Gideon?”
She perked up. Kieran turned to the window to hide the trace of a smile.
“Then count me in, and I hope Varian too, one day. Maybe.”
It would be rude to answer for her brother when it was his home they would be frequenting, and Gideon would need proper warning to inform his staff and cook that there would be a second guest—
“Of course you can come!”
Ah. Sera naturally had no awareness of the rules of social engagements. He’d have to send word to Captain Blair himself.
“Then can we go back to being happy? Cause I want to be happy. I’m only returning right now cause I think Varian deserves an explanation of what happened before he hears second hand, you know?”
Sera nodded, hugging him close and kissed the top of his head. “Yes, yes! I do understand. And we can take this one step at a time. There’s no rush. We’re not in danger anymore.”
The rest of the ride passed amiably, with Sera and Seth filling each other in on the details they missed. When Seth finally departed, there was only the two of them to fill the silence.
“Should I…” Kieran started, but second guessed himself. Which was odd, because he never fumbled over phrases before, never succumbed to nerves or uncertainty. But the truth was, he did not know how to move forward. How to approach the words that wanted to be said. That he wanted her to stay, not just as a kindness, but because her absence would be unbearable. Hisheart was already twisted in her finger, what point was there in denying himself her company when the damage was done? Her death would forever be a mystery to him. And that was terrifying but also, it left him with no excuse in withholding his desire for her.
“Oh, uh, yes. We can…”
Her eyes darted through the carriage. Kieran gave Joy the okay to headhome, the connotations of that word entirely changed by the woman across from him.
They arrived and proceeded on the walk through Winter. Tension simmered between them, but unlike before, this didn’t possess a carnal undercurrent. Finally, he stopped walking altogether.
“What is it?” She asked, looking away like she feared the answer.
Kieran gently guided her head back toward him with a hand on her chin.
She was beautiful, encompassed in snow and an evening sky. He might have lost his nerve, except, he knew one fact with certainty.
“I love you,” he said, surprising himself. Sera’s breath caught, shoulders rising to her cheeks. “I… it might not be ideal, to you, as I know you expressed a disinterest in relationships of significance…but, however, I would…” He cleared his throat. He had never rambled in his life and it was starting to annoy that his tongue would choose now, of all times, to become tied.
“Let me start again. I love you, Seraphina Blair. You are brilliant and clever, a touch maddening at times, but I think my life could use a touch of madness—um… not to say that you’re mad or…” He breathed out, a nervous fidget starting to take over. Why was this so difficult?
Kieran shook out the nerves from his hands, daring to take a step toward her. He took one of her hands in his—momentarilylost in the thrilling sensation, just as overwhelming as the first time. “Let me try this once more. I love you. I admire you. You are as necessary to me as air or cold. And, I am not saying this to persuade or entrap you, you are always free to do as you wish. Leave and find some new adventure to your liking or… stay. With me. Um, specifically. I—” He huffed, shaking his head. “This is much harder than I suspected. I promise to be more articulate in the future—”
Sera hooked her fingers in his shirt and pulled him closer, cutting off his sentence. “You will do no such thing. In fact, I intend to cause as muchinarticulationas possible.”
