I am so fucked.I’ve got to start acting like an adult when I’m around her.
CHAPTER 18
BRIE
I step into the bathroom,Tess stumbling in behind me as chants of “TACO TURSDAY” swell from the restaurant. She goes straight to the sink, gripping the edges as she stares at herself in the mirror. I try to catch her eye, but she won’t look at me.
“What’s going on with you?” I ask.
She breathes in, and as she exhales, I see her face transform in the mirror. Her eyes brighten, a soft smile appears with a glimpse of white teeth, and her shoulders straighten.
My eyes narrow. I had that exact move perfected by the end of my last semester at Everett Academy.
Now, she turns to me, and in an oddly soothing voice says, “Nothing, I’m fine.”
I take a step toward her. “No, you’re not. Tell me what happened.”Or I swear I’ll shake it out of you. Not really. I wouldn’t resort to violence. But man, do I want to.
Her smile falters. “Really, it’s nothing.”
“Good. I like nothing.”
She swallows, and I see the cracks start to form. Her shoulders drop and her eyes start to water.
Oh god. I pushed too hard. I’m no good at this, too rough around the edges. I don’t know how to be comforting to someone else.
My hands rise uncertainly. “Tess?”
A sob wrenches out of her, and she tumbles into my arms. I pat her awkwardly at first, trying to say soothing things, but almost everything comes out as gibberish. How do I comfort someone when I have no idea what’s wrong?
She’s taller than me by several inches, but she seems so small in this moment. I hug her tighter, telling her I’m here, it’ll be okay, whatever it is, we’ll fix it.
When the crying turns into soft hiccups, I draw my head back and look at her.
The mask is gone. Her sad blue eyes make my heart ache. I wipe away the final tears with my thumbs and tuck her hair behind her ears.
“Talk to me.”
She shakes her head. “It’s embarrassing.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
With a watery laugh, she nods and takes a fortifying breath. “It’s my ex, CJ. He’s having a hard time understanding we’re not together anymore.” She smiles, almost like nothing’s wrong. “But it’s just words, and words can’t hurt me.”
I want to take her by the shoulders and shoutWhat do you mean they can’t hurt you? Did you see yourself a second ago?!
A memory swims forward of the first time we had lunch together.I know what it’s like to be treated poorly.Protectiveness worms through me.
I ask, “What happened?”
She looks up at the ceiling and blinks rapidly. “We dated for years. He was never a great boyfriend, but he’dfallen in with a bad crowd a year or so ago, and I watched him turn into a badperson. I gave him an ultimatum. When nothing changed by New Year’s, I broke up with him. But then the calls started. When he called a couple days ago, I told him off. It felt really good. I thought that was the end of it.” That’s why she was in such a good mood when she invited me out. “But tonight, he was at my door when I opened it to leave. He kind of forced his way through.” When she sees my face, she’s quick to add, “He never laid a hand on me, but he . . . he kind of walked forward, which made me walk backward, and we ended up in my apartment with the door locked.”
“Tess!” I practically shout. “He might not have put a hand on you, but that’sphysical. Like, kidnapping or false imprisonment or something. I mean, it can’t be legal!”
She shakes her head. “It was my fault. If I hadn’t walked backward, he wouldn’t have come inside.”
That’s three times now. Three times I’ve wanted to shake her. “It was not your fault,” is all I say through gritted teeth.
She doesn’t hear me. “He begged me for another chance. He used all the predictable tactics. I’ve talked about it with my therapist. Weaponizing love, she calls it. I knew what he was doing, but it still affected me?—”
