She could practically feel Taylor trying to think of a way to cut the tension.See what happens when I try to mentor someone,she wanted to say. The article had been released a couple hours ago, around thetime she’d left for Laila’s home, and was now widely circulating. Saffi wondered if Dimple felt bad at all. If she was even capable of guilt or if Saffi had been wrong about that too.
“I tried calling you, but it didn’t go through,” Taylor said finally. It wouldn’t have made a difference if Saffi had picked up the phone, but regret settled in, nonetheless. “It’s too late to take it down,” he added. It was disappointing to hear, but he knew she didn’t want coddling. “We contacted the police and they agreed there’s nothing we can do about it now that it’s gone viral. For now, we’ve been trying to minimize panic and get the real facts out there.”
He’d known Martinez for longer—how was he holding it together so well? Saffi felt like the very ground beneath her feet was crumbling away.
When she didn’t respond, Taylor asked, gently, “Do you have any idea who could’ve leaked this?”
But Saffi found herself hung up on something else entirely. “Where’s Andino?”
If he too knew about the article and about Martinez’s death, why would he have left? While he was far from a comforting presence, he was also one of three people who’d been close with both Saffi and the interns. The empty space to her left felt weighty.
Taylor recoiled. “Come on, I know you don’t always see eye to eye, but he wouldn’t have done this.”
“That’s not why I’m asking.”
Taylor then sagged. His clothes were heavily wrinkled, his movements sluggish. Maybe he wasn’t holding it together as well as Saffi had imagined. “Atlas was here,” he said. “He was the one who told me about Mia and the article. I watched himcry,Saffi.”
His distress was understandable. She and Taylor were alike when it came to emotions in that they both tended to repress them for as long as possible. Andino, on the other hand, never seemed capable of holding them back. He had always had a complex about expressing anything other than anger in front of others, though.
When his family dog had passed away back in college, he’d refused to leave his dorm for an entire week. Saffi and Taylor had resorted to leaving meals and notes they’d taken in class outside his door. Evenwith emotional movies, Andino would hole himself up in the bathroom until he got ahold of himself. If not for the red-rimmed eyes, they would’ve been none the wiser about the state he’d beenin.
“I didn’t know what to do. And then he got this weird look on his face and—” Taylor cut himself off, seemingly thinking it over. “Well, he went into your office.”
“Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. He didn’t say anything before he left, but for now he probably just needs some space. I’m sure he’ll be back soon and you can ask him yourself.”
That was when the phone rang, startling them both, and Taylor picked it up, introducing the agency in a practiced speech. He nodded a few times.
“Laila Olsen,” he explained after hanging up. “She said she no longer wants to testify.”
“Of fucking course,” Saffi said, rubbing her temples.
“Care to explain what that’s about?” Taylor asked, frowning even deeper.
Saffi waved him off.
“I don’t appreciate both of you keeping things from me,” Taylor said, all traces of pleasantry wiped from his face. In any other circumstance it would’ve left Saffi with at least some morsel of regret, but numbness had begun to overpower her senses.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” Saffi replied. “It’s a miracle the Singhs haven’t called yet.”
“They did,” Taylor said. “They no longer require our services.”
“Has no one considered that maybe they should leave this to the experts?” Saffi snapped.
“We’ll fix this,” Taylor tried, but even he didn’t seem convinced.
The phone rang again, and Saffi answered it before anyone else could. “What?” she snapped into the receiver.
“Saffi?” a familiar voice asked.
The whole world came to a stop. “Mama?” Saffi hadn’t thought it possible, but the numbness magnified.
“It’s been so long since I’ve heard your voice.” Her tone waswistful. It said,I’ve missed you.It said,How could you?It said,Something is broken here.It said,I don’t know how to fixit.
Saffi opened her mouth several times in succession, but no words escaped. If she couldn’t feel the phone digging into her palm as her grip tightened, she might’ve thought she was dreaming. Taylor took that as his cue to exit, leaving Saffi with some privacy.
“I know,” Saffi replied softly. But she meant,I missed you too.She meant,I’m sorry.She meant,I don’t know how to fix it either.
