“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m here as a favor to you,” Saffi said through gritted teeth. “Even with my mistakes as a cautionary tale, you were more than happy to rule the death an accident without properly looking into it. What would you have done if the waiter hadn’t been killed before you closed the case, huh? That’s the kind of mistake that gets agencies shut down, in case you’ve forgotten. You’d have put yourself and Taylor out of a job. Then what?”
Andino had no response for that, but his rage was similar to hers. It could not be diffused; it needed an outlet. And so it remained simmering under his skin.
“Fuck you,” he spat.
“You need me here,” she said. “Because you’re in over your head and you’re too much of a coward to admit it.”
“You—” Andino began.
A nurse chose that moment to burst inside, chastising them for the noise. They’d been raising their voices without even realizing it. Taylor was on her heels, ready to appease her with his charm. Andino’s shoulder knocked against Saffi’s as he marched right out of the waiting room, leaving the nurse even angrier in his wake.
Not that Saffi didn’t trust her gut, but there was a chance she was keeping Andino and Taylor at arm’s length because she was worried they’d immediately poke holes through her theories, giving weight to all of her resurfaced insecurities. Maybe Kapoor truly was innocent, and this was nothing more than Saffi’s stubbornness rearing its ugly head. Maybe it was the reminder of her last mistake hanging over her head that made it so necessary for her to be right now. Maybe shewasright. Maybe Kapoor was just as much a criminal mastermind as Saffi suspected.
Either way, the difference between the girl of five years ago and the woman of now was that she couldn’t care less what Andino and Taylor thought.
The nurse, finally through chastising them, informed them that it was their turn to visit Kapoor. She’d only had four visitors: her assistant and the three private investigators. Given how charming the actress could be on-screen and in interviews, Saffi been half prepared to fight off an entire entourage of adoring friends and family.
Taylor scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “So, what was that about?”
Saffi shrugged. “Andino was being an asshole about Phoenix.”
“I’m sorry about him. He never really learned tact.”
Taylor didn’t seem to grow tired of apologizing on behalf of both of them. She knew he would say the same to Andino about her. Had he been anyone else, she’d be pissed. But it had always been like this. Taylor was the only way she and Andino had any chance in hell at understanding each other.
“He’s always been like that,” Saffi muttered. “He takes everything so personally.”
Taylor gave her a look.
“What?”
“Come on, Saffi,” Taylor said, sounding exhausted. “You and I both know thisispersonal.” Not giving her the time to be offended, he added, “That doesn’t mean whatever he said to you was okay, but you have to understand where he’s coming from.”
“What are you talking about?” Saffi asked. “It’s work—how is that personal?”
Saffi had felt something underlying in Andino’s words, but she no longer had the tools to uncover what it was. It was shocking to realize that she’d once understood the man in any capacity. She’d always thought that Andino was a mystery to her.
“You left without warning,” Taylor said, brows furrowed. He looked so much older than his years. “You never reply to any of our calls or texts or emails. Then all of a sudden you pick up. And you say you’re coming back. Sure, you’re still cold, but we know how difficult it is for you to be back here. At least we still have the case totalk about, right? But no, you don’t even want our help with that. I half believe you never would’ve even talked to us if we weren’t assigned this case.”
It was true, but Saffi didn’t dare say it out loud.
“He’s not upset about Phoenix or even that you won’t let us help with the investigation,” Taylor continued. “He’s upset because you’re back, but you still don’t seem to want anything to do with us.”
This version of Andino and Taylor were strangers to Saffi. The Taylor of her past never would’ve expressed his grievances so openly to her face, he would’ve bottled them up and suffered in silence. And Andino never would’ve walked away to cool off, his temper was like a loaded gun with the safety off. These were not the people Saffi knew. Despite their faults, she missed the boys she’d abandoned five years ago. And the person they missed was the girl who’d left them behind without a word.
From everything she’d seen—the resentment, the jealousy—it was beginning to look like the three of them had grown irreparably apart. If they tried to replicate the past and failed, it would hurt so much worse than never trying at all. She wouldn’t risk tarnishing the good memories they had together. And even if they could fall back into what they once had, it wasn’t as though Saffi could stay in America. If only for the sake of her father’s reputation, she would have to leave again.
“Taylor, we’re not those kids anymore,” Saffi said. “We can’t go back in time and it’s unfair of Andino to hold me to his expectations of what I’m supposed to be like. We’ve all changed. Maybe it’s time to move on.”
She regretted the words as soon as she said them, but it was for the best. Taylor’s face shuttered and he turned away from her. Neither of them spoke for a moment. The ticking clock felt so loud, Saffi half expected the nurse to come back in and shout atit.
“You’re right,” Taylor said eventually. She couldn’t see his expression. “I should go make sure Atlas isn’t terrorizing the nurses.”
There was so much more to say, but not enough words to express it. So Saffi let him go. Instead, she allowed her mind to wander.
She wondered whether Kapoor’s innocence would come across inperson as well as it did behind the lens. She wondered which aspects of her were real and which were airbrushed. Which were altogether lies.
It was probably not good practice to keep a celebrity waiting.
