Kenji snorted bacon fragments out through his nose. “Why am I not surprised?” He blinked away briefly. We heard a commotion coming from the kitchen followed by irate yells, then the kitsune reappeared with a stack of ham and pancakes in his paws.
“What is it?” Glynda peered down at Kenji but seemed reluctant to sit down.
“Glynda, meet Kenji, my familiar.”
She relaxed and smiled with genuine pleasure. “Oh! How amazing and also how lucky!”
“Not sure I’d describe being paired with a felonious fox as lucky, exactly,” I muttered.
“Hey, I have no outstanding felonies, I’ll have you know!”
“Only because you’ve not been caught yet.”
He coughed.“Well, now that you mention it, if you spot a bounty hunter called Dog, tell him I moved to Nova Scotia.” Kenji blew a kiss at me. “Dog’s a mean bastard, and the last time we crossed paths, I may have pissed him off a teeny bit.”
“You know what? I don’t want to know.”
“So when did you guys find each other?” Glynda bounced on her toes, excited about my news.
“The forest last night.”
“The forest?” Her eyes widened, and I realized I’d put my foot in my mouth.Oh stars. Now she knew I’d been in the same location as a dead shifter.
“A quick trip to collect some flowers. Saw nothing,” I added breezily.
Kenji jumped onto the table, lifted his tails, and proceeded to lick his butt. Glynda and I both gagged.
“Seriously? People have to eat at these tables!”
“Hey! I’m a very hygienic kitsune. I eat and then I wash. Deal with it.”
Peals of laughter drifted our way before an unwelcome witch and her bitchy friends assembled in a circle around our table. Demelza pulled a disgusted expression at the sight of my kitsune washing his butt. He glanced up and then returned diligently to his task.
“Why isthatin here?” Demelza screeched at me. “Have you lost your mind and started inviting the wildlife in for breakfast?”
“He’s my familiar.”
Demelza burst out laughing. “No fuckingway!”
“Hey, at least she’s met hers,” Glynda said, coming to my defense. “I don’t see you with a familiar, unless yours is that slug eyebrow on your face.” She leaned in and frowned. “I swear it moved a second ago.”
Demelza’s new high-definition eyebrows loomed large on her delicate face. Glynda made a good point. Those things were…big.
“Oh fuck off, Glyn!” Demelza sniffed in disgust one more time and then glared at me. “I’ll be filing a report about this! The school does not allow familiars with fur in the dining hall!”
Kenji retched loudly before hacking up a disgusting hairball. We all joined him in a sympathetic retch because, stars, that was so gross I had no words.
“Oh my goddess, I just can’t.” Demelza ran off looking like she wished she’d made better life choices this morning. Frankly, I felt like joining her.
“Um, congrats on meeting your familiar.” Glynda grimaced in sympathy while staring at Kenji with what looked a lot like horror. “I’m heading to the library to finish my assignment for Mr. Dunston. I’ll catch you later.” She scurried away, leaving me with a suspiciously cheerful kitsune and a pile of hairball vomit.
24
Zane
The horned demon squealed when I stuck him in the shoulder with my blade. The fuckers were very difficult to kill without the right weapon, but this one was shit out of luck because I’d come prepared.
Thick green moss bloomed on the ancient stone walls all around us. Water dripped from a broken pipe, pooling below the demon’s feet. Each time I cut his leathery skin, his toxic blood dripped down and sizzled when it hit the water. An interesting side effect of interrogating a demon in the crypt of a thousand-year-old church.
