Raven meets my gaze unflinchingly. "You're sulking."
"I don't sulk."
"Fine. Brooding, then." He leans against the balcony railing, his golden hair catching the last rays of the setting sun.
My fingers clench around the railing hard enough to make the metal creak. "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I?" There's something challenging in his eyes now. "You need to tell her, Nikolai. It's not going to get any easier."
A harsh laugh escapes me. "Right. Because that would go over so well. 'By the way, Cosima, I know you're still in love with the Surhiiran prince who lied to you, but I'm actually your mate, so how about it?'"
"At least she'd know the truth," Raven says, his voice quiet but firm. "She deserves that much."
The implication is clear. Unlike Azarel, I should be honest with her. About who I am. About what she is to me.
"She'd hate me even more," I mutter, turning back to stare at the darkening landscape.
"Maybe," Raven concedes. "Or maybe she'd finally understand why you've been such a pain in the ass."
I don't respond. What could I possibly say? That I'm afraid? That the thought of her rejection terrifies me more than any battlefield ever has?
We stand in silence for a long time, the only sound the distant murmur of the settlement below as night settles over it.
"I don't hate you, you know," Raven says suddenly, breaking the silence.
The admission catches me off guard. "You should," I reply gruffly. "Ifucking hateyou."
"Probably," he agrees, a faint smile playing at his lips. "But I don't. Not anymore."
There's something soft and wistful in his voice that fucks me up. I don't know what to do with this version of Raven. The one who isn't trying to bait me or push my buttons. The one who sees too much and doesn't talk enough.
"Tell her," he says again, pushing away from the railing. "Before we get any deeper into Surhiira. Before we find Azarel. Don't be one more alpha trying to control her, even if it is only by omitting the truth."
With that, he turns and walks back inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I stare out at the darkening sky, considering his words. Maybe he's right. Maybe I should tell her. But the thought of seeing disgust or worse, pity, in those violet eyes...
Fuck.
When did I become such a damn coward?
I take a deep breath of the cool night air, letting it fill my lungs. Something about this place makes everything feel possible in a way the wasteland never did. Like there might actually be a life beyond survival. Beyond war. Beyond the constant vigilance that's defined my existence for as long as I can remember.
It's bullshit. Nothing more than a fairy tale.
But what is finding your scent-matched omega who smells like moonlight if not one of those?
Raven is right about one thing. I need to tell Cosima the truth. And I guess if it blows up in my face, I'd rather it be because I had the balls to be honest.
Chapter 16
COSIMA
The Surhiiran innfeels uncannily like home. Or rather, what passed for home back in Reinmich.
Polished stone floors beneath my feet, high vaulted ceilings with intricate patterns carved into literally every surface, even the freakingsmell.Sandalwood and jasmine, with hints of exotic spices I couldn't name if I tried. Definitely not Reinmichian, but luxurious all the same.
But there's a crucial difference.
