Now that I have it, I hate it.
Knight's breathing has slowed to a deep, steady rumble that fills the nest. It's a relief to see him actually getting some rest, even if he has positioned himself against the door. It's as if he wants to be the first line of defense should it come open. He and Geo seem to have come to some unspoken agreement to take shifts, and now it's his turn.
Across the car, Geo sits slumped on a bench that folds out from the wall, his chin resting against his broad chest. The stubborn alpha had insisted on keeping watch long past when his body could handle it. Now sleep has claimed him too, despite his bestefforts, his massive frame folded awkwardly against the wall, his eye patch slightly askew.
Even Nikolai has finally succumbed, sprawled across one of the built-in benches with one arm dangling toward the floor. In sleep, his face has softened, making him look almost approachable.
Well… almost.
I shift slightly in the nest of pillows, pulling one of the emerald silk Surhiiran robes Raven brought tighter around me. It feels good to be clean again after our brief stop at the last station, where Raven somehow managed to bribe the staff into letting us use the private facilities.
"Can't sleep?"
The whispered question pulls me from my thoughts. Raven sits cross-legged at the edge of the nest, a book abandoned in his lap. His golden hair is loose around his shoulders, his usual impeccable appearance slightly rumpled in a way that's unfairly appealing.
"No," I admit quietly. "Too much on my mind."
He nods as if he completely understands, which is irritating because he probably does. Of all the alphas I've met, he's the most perceptive. He can read emotions in a way the others seem incapable of.
Although he seems to have trouble reading Geo's.
"How much longer?" I ask, keeping my voice low to avoid disturbing the others.
"At this rate?" He glances out the window at the moonlit wasteland passing by. "Probably another fourteen hours at least. We've had more stops than I expected. Must have added a few deliveries at the last minute."
I groan, quietly but with plenty of feeling. "Fourteen hours? I'm going to lose my freaking mind."
A slow smile curves his lips and a mischievous light enters his eyes. "I could keep you occupied."
I roll my eyes, but I'm not genuinely annoyed. His flirtation has become so familiar, it's almost comforting. "I'm sure you think you could."
"Oh, IknowI could," he counters, his voice dropping to a silky purr.
For the briefest moment, unexpectedly, I consider it. Not just as a way to pass the time, but because—gods help me—I'm actually attracted to him. I don't normally allow myself to indulge in sex purely for fun. Even with Azarel, there were always considerations, risks to weigh. Each stolen moment could have brought destruction down on both our heads. Even more than I realized, back when I had no freaking clue who he really is.
Why not? Why the hell not?
"Alright," I say, the word escaping before I fully realize I've made a decision.
Raven freezes, his eyes widening slightly. For once, I've managed to catch him off guard. "I—wait, what?"
"You heard me." The disbelief on his face makes me smirk. "If you think you can without waking the others."
He stares at me for a long moment, clearly trying to determine if I'm serious. Then a slow smile spreads across his face. "Challenge accepted," he murmurs, setting his book aside and moving toward me.
I watch him approach, his movements careful and measured as he crawls across the cushions. He's been nothing but respectful since we've been traveling, even when we've ended up curled together in the nest. Not once has he pushed for more, or let his hands wander, despite the way he looks at me when he thinks I won't notice.
He settles beside me, close enough that I can feel the heat of him through his thin shirt, but still maintaining that small space between us. Allowing me to bridge the gap if I choose.
"Are you sure about this?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes search mine, looking for any sign of hesitation. "I don't want you to?—"
"I'm sure," I interrupt, reaching up to trace the line of his jaw with my fingertips. His skin is even smoother than I expected, like silk, and he leans into my touch like a cat seeking affection. "I think we could both use a distraction."
"Just a distraction, goddess?"
"For now," I concede. "But a welcome one."
That seems to satisfy him. He leans closer, his breath warm against my lips. "May I kiss you?" he whispers, so close that if I moved even slightly, our lips would touch.
