I’m claustrophobic, apparently.
"This is a neural imaging device," Dr. Rami explains, gesturing to the equipment. "It will allow us to see detailed scans of your brain activity and structure. You'll need to lie on the table here." She pats the surface, which is covered in a crisp white cloth. "It will slide you under the ring, and the machine will do the rest."
It looks like a fucking torture device.
"Will it hurt?" I ask, annoyed by how nervous I sound.
"Not at all," she assures me with a warm smile that crinkles her eyes. "We'll administer a light sedative through an IV to help you relax."
Oh, fuck. I hate needles.
And Ireallyhate being put under. I can't control what happens to myself when I'm under, even if the sedation is supposedly going to be light.
My hands start to shake, and I clasp them together to hide it. Behind me, Knight's rumbling has taken on a distinctly threatening quality. I swallow hard, forcing myself to stay calm for his sake.
For his safety.
For the safety of everyone in this fucking room except myself, really, if he realizes how scared I am.
"How long will this take?" Nikolai asks, his voice tight.
"Approximately thirty minutes for the scan itself," another doctor answers. "Then time to review the results."
Thirty minutes.
Half an hour of being unconscious while strange doctors poke around in my head with their machines. While my alphas watch, unable to do a damn thing if something goes wrong.
"Okay," I hear myself saying. "I want to do this."
My alphas all turn to stare at me.
"Are you sure?” Geo asks carefully. "If you're sedated, you won't be able to back out."
I nod, swallowing hard. "The episodes. The fugue states. The nightmares… I've had them my entire life and no one's ever actually figured out why. Surhiira has better medical technology than Reinmich. If we're doing this, I want to go all the way. I want answers."
Nikolai's jaw tightens. He exchanges a glance with Geo.
"Answers might not be a good idea right now," Raven says gently.
"I know you're trying to protect me," I say more softly, including all of them in my gaze. "But I can't live like this. Always waiting for the next episode, never understanding what's wrong with me." My voice hardens. "So either tell me what you know, or let me find out for myself."
Silence.
The weight of it presses against my skin. They're not going to tell me. Whatever they're hiding, they think knowing will hurt me worse than the not-knowing.
Maybe they're right.
But it's still my choice to make.
I turn to Dr. Rami. "Let's do it."
The door bangs open with enough force to make everyone jump.
Azarel storms in, still in those plain black military clothes that make him look more like a guard than a prince. His pale blue eyes sweep the room, landing on me immediately with ferocious intensity.
Then they move to the machine, and his entire body locks up.
"No," he growls, his lip curling around the word. "Absolutely fucking not."
