The truth.
That maybe I love him too.
That I love all of them so much, the thought of losing them is so terrifying I can't bring myself to even think about it. Because Iwilllose them. In the end, I lose everything I try to hold onto. The firmer the grip, the faster it slips through my fingers.
"You love me," I say quietly, instead grasping onto the one anchor that has always kept me sane. Resilient. Anger. "Yet you can't tell me what they're going to do to me tomorrow."
He looks like I just pulled a gun on him.
"It could kill you," he murmurs.
I look up, searching his face, but there's no deception there. No sarcasm. Not a trace of amusement. "What?"
"If I told you the truth, it could kill you, and I won't let that happen," he repeats, his voice firm. His mismatched eyes bore into mine. The steel in his gaze falters with his voice as he adds, "Ican't. I need you to trust me, Cosima. Trust that even if I can't tell you the truth, at least not all of it, I willneverlie to you."
The words are more jarring than any confession I thought I might pry out of him.
Trust.
He's asking me totrusthim.
An alpha I've known for months. Months that started out with him holding me in captivity. An alpha who's done gods know what in his time as a wasteland warlord before we met.
And yet...
I study his face, looking for the lie. The manipulation. The angle. But all I see is raw honesty. Vulnerability that probably comes as easily to him as it does to me.
Which is to say… not at all.
"Alright," I hear myself say.
He cocks an eyebrow. "Alright? Just like that? No argument? No snarky remarks?"
I shrug, the movement awkward with Raven still locked inside me. "You were honest with me. That's all I ever wanted from anyone."
Something shifts in his expression. Softens. "You should raise your standards."
A laugh bubbles up from my chest. "First time I've ever heard that."
He reaches out, tucking a strand of silvery hair behind my ear with surprising gentleness. "Get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be..."
"A shitshow?" I suggest.
"I was going to say 'interesting,' but yeah. Shitshow works."
He settles beside me, careful not to jostle Raven, who's still sleeping peacefully. His arm drapes across my waist, and I let myself relax into the warmth of them both.
This is dangerous. Letting my guard down. Letting them in.
But for the first time in months, I feel something other than fear or rage or that hollow numbness that's been my constant companion.
I feel safe.
And that's the scariest shit in the world.
But for now, I let myself drift, surrounded by the warmth of two of my alphas, and for once, I don't dream of the grasping claws of the past or the pressing uncertainty of the future.
Just darkness.
