His eyes shine, pupils blown wide in confusion just like the last time I said those words, as if he can't bring himself to believe anyone would mean them. I lean up to kiss him again. This time it's different. Softer. More real than any of the calculated seduction I planned.
"Be a good boy," I whisper against his lips. "Come for me while Nikolai fucks you so hard I can feel you both."
Permission granted, Raven lets go. On the next thrust, his swelling knot shoves inside me and I clench around him, sealing around him. Not as tightly as if I were in heat, but tight enough. His orgasm tears through him with devastating force. He cries out my name—and Nikolai's—as his cock pulses inside me as his knot swells to its full size. The stretch is intense, just shy of painful, and it triggers my own release.
I come with a sharp cry of my own, clenching around him as pleasure whites out everything else. Distantly, I hear Nikolai snarl, feel the way his rhythm stutters before he finds his own release inside Raven.
We collapse in a tangle of limbs, all three of us gasping for air. Raven's weight is warm and solid on top of me, his knot still locked inside me. Nikolai's draped over his back, and somehow, I feel the rapid thunder of both their hearts. Their scents mingle with mine, honey and blood and stone and moonlight, like they were always meant to.
The aftermath is quiet. Peaceful, even.
Raven shifts slightly and groans when Nikolai pulls out, settling more comfortably against me. Within minutes, his breathing evens out into sleep. I find myself idly stroking his hair as I gaze up at the patterns in the stone ceiling, wondering how the weight of two alphas on top of me can feel so freeing.
Nikolai's still awake, though. I feel the tension in his body, the way he's not quite relaxed despite the post-orgasmic haze.
"Nikolai?" I murmur.
"Mm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Thinking," he mutters.
"I wasn't aware that was something you did."
He snorts a laugh, the movement making Raven growl softly in his sleep.
Nikolai is quiet for so long I think he's fallen asleep himself. Then, he finally speaks again, his voice quiet and rough. "I need to tell you something."
My stomach drops. Here it comes. Whatever they've been hiding.
"Okay," I whisper carefully.
He shifts, propping himself up on one elbow so he can see my face. Raven's still locked inside me, dead to the world even as his arm slides off mine and lands on the mattress. He nuzzles into my breast.
"Tomorrow, the doctors are going to examine you," he says, his voice low as he switches back to our mother tongue. "Good ones. The best Surhiira has."
I start to protest, but he holds up a hand.
"Please," he says, and the word sounds foreign coming from him. "Just listen."
I close my mouth, waiting, but I'm sure my narrowed eyes are saying plenty.
"It's necessary," he continues, choosing each word carefully. "I can't tell you why. Not yet. But I can't lie to you either."
"Since when?" I challenge.
"Since…" He trails off, his gaze still fixed on mine. "Since I fell in love with you."
The words pierce my chest like a hollow point round and all I can do is stare at him, dumbfounded.
"You love me," I echo, my voice sounding steadier than it should. My heart is pumping so fast, I'm sure he can hear it.
His brow furrows slightly, his gaze traveling over my face like he finds me every bit as mystifying as I find him. "You think I left my army behind, followed you to this paradise that's my own personal version of hell, risked my life and sold my soul to the fucking Ghosts because I'm ambivalent about you, Cosima? Really?"
For once, I'm at a loss for words. I can't formulate any sarcastic barbs to deflect against his words. Words that leave my heart racing and aching more than any betrayal ever could.
My hard-won ability to meet an alpha's gaze with a wall of ice falters and I look away. Not because of intimidation, but because I'm afraid of what he'll see in mine.
