I shove the memories down before they can surface. Not now. Not when I need to be present, focused, in control. And for once, I'll be using my skills of seduction on alphas who make my spine tingle rather than make my skin crawl.
Even if they are overprotective idiots.
I pause in the doorway and turn back, letting my gaze drift over both of them with obvious intent. "Are you boys coming?"
Raven's eyes widen slightly, and Nikolai goes completely still. Like I've just suggested laid a trap instead of inviting them to bed.
"Cosima..." Nikolai starts, his voice rough.
"I could use a distraction," I say, letting my silk robe slip slightly off one shoulder. "Unless you'd rather I spend the night thinking about Azarel?"
Nikolai's the first to move, covering the distance between us with that predatory grace that makes my pulse kick up. "What kind of distraction did you have in mind?"
His voice is pure sin, rough and dark and promising things that make heat pool low in my belly.
Raven follows, slower, more hesitant. That's… unusual. But there's something vulnerable in his eyes that wasn't there before. Like he's afraid this is a trap.
Smart boy.
"The kind that makes me forget," I say, which isn't entirely a lie. Idowant to forget. Want to stop thinking about Azarel and the way my heart still fucking aches when I see his stupid face.
I step backward into the bedroom, letting them follow. The space is obscenely luxurious, outfitted with silk draperies and carved wooden furniture. A massive bed dominates the room, easily big enough for five people and begging to be a nest.
Good thing, too, considering Knight will probably want to join us later. And he'll take up at least half the bed. Nikolai and Raven are tall, even for alphas, but not as huge as Knight and Geo.
Oh. I'mdefinitelythinking about Geo, too.
Especially after… whatever the fuck that was.
When did I start thinking like that? Planning for all of them like it's normal for me to have four alphas in my bed? Wondering what it would be like to actually go through a heat surrounded by alphas I trust to care for me and treat me like a person rather than a fucktoy or an object to be traded around for favors?
Even once Azarel showed up and put an end to Monty's abuse, the pills kept me from going into heat. Every time we made love was a moment stolen from our mutual captors, even if his leash was longer than mine…
"Cosima."
Nikolai's voice snaps me back to the present. He's closer now, close enough that I can feel the heat of his body. Alphas are like living furnaces. His hand comes up to cup my jaw, tilting my face toward his.
"Where'd you go just now?" he asks quietly.
The concern in his voice doesn't touch the fear in his eyes. This powerful, lawless alpha isafraid. For me. Like he thinks I'm going to drift away from them again, the way I did on the train.
"Nowhere," I lie, meeting his gaze. "I'm here."
His thumb strokes across my cheekbone, the touch gentle despite the violence I know those hands are capable of. "You sure about this?"
I'm not sure about much of anything anymore. But this… feels right. I nod, rising on my toes to try to close the distance between us. His lips meet mine halfway, and the kiss is nothing like I expected. It's not rough or demanding or claiming.
It's almost... tender.
Fuck.
How am I supposed to seduce him for conniving purposes when he's making me want to do it for very real reasons? I pull back, breathless and more unsettled than before. Nikolai's watching me with those mismatched eyes and there's something in his expression that makes my carefully constructed walls feel paper-thin.
"You're tense," Raven murmurs from behind me, his hands settling on my hips. "Let us take care of you, goddess."
His breath is warm against my neck, and I shiver. They're making it too easy toactuallyget distracted. I need to regain the upper hand.
Now.
