My mother's face is animated in a way I haven't seen in years. She's laughing at something Cosima says, sincere joy lighting up her features.
And Cosima looks… comfortable.
Relaxed, even.
The guilt hits hard. Three years. Three fucking years since I've seen my mother. Three years of letting her think I might be dead rather than risk compromising my position in Reinmich. And here's Cosima, my secret, my sole weakness, chatting with her like it's the most natural thing in the world.
I remind myself I don't have a choice. Never had one. The mission always came first, had to come first. But watching them together, seeing what I've denied myself, denied them both...
A servant rushes toward them, bowing and speaking rapidly. My mother's expression shifts to fond exasperation, and she pats Cosima's arm before following the servant back toward the palace.
Leaving Cosima alone.
Giving me my chance.
My body moves before my brain catches up, years of training taking over. I drop from the balcony, landing silent as death on the gravel path. She's wandered deeper into the gardens, studying a fountain with that intense focus she gets when something truly captures her attention, rendering her far more captivating than the mere stone that's won her fixation.
Ten feet.
Five.
Close enough to catch that intoxicating, incredible scent of moonlight and twilight rain that's haunted every waking moment since I lost her.
My hand clamps over her mouth before she can scream and I pull her back against my chest, lifting her slightly off her feet.
She goes wild immediately, clawing at my forearms with those sharp nails that have left their mark on me before in far more intimate circumstances. Blood wells up through the tears in my shirt, but I barely feel it. And I wish I did.
"It's me," I hiss, trying to calm her. "Cosima, it's me. It's Azarel."
She goes completely limp in my arms, all that fight draining out of her so suddenly I almost let her go. Relief floods through me. She recognizes me. She?—
The heel of her shoe slams into my groin.
Pain explodes through my entire body. My arms loosen automatically and I barely have time to let out a hiss of pain through my teeth before she spins in my grip, bringing her knee up for a second strike that connects with enough force to drop me to my knees.
"Fuck!" The word comes out as more of a wheeze as I haul myself back to my feet, ready this time. "What thefuck, Cosima?"
She's already winding up for another attack, murder written in every curve of her body. I catch her wrists just as she's about to claw my eyes out, using my strength to hold her at bay despite the nauseating pain making bile rise in my throat.
"Cosima, calm down!" I growl, struggling to restrain her without hurting her. She's usually so docile in her fugue states. Concerningly so. This is new. "I don't want to hurt you!"
"Really?" She hisses the word like poison, violet eyes blazing with a fury I've never seen directed at me before. "I can't say the same!"
I blink, trying to process this. She must be having another episode, another flashback. But rather than the usual catatonic glaze, her eyes are clear violet, sharp and piercing. And she's certainly not lacking in motor skills.
"You're confused," I say, keeping my voice low and soothing even as she tries to slam her head into my face. "You're safe now. I'm getting you out of here."
"Like hell you are!"
"You've clearly lost your mind," I mutter, making a quick decision. In one fluid motion, I shift my grip and throw her over my shoulder, clamping my arm across the backs of her thighs to keep her in place. "Running around with a bunch of degenerate alphas like some kind of fucking circus cult?—"
She screams loud enough to wake the dead, pounding her fists against my back with impressive force. "Put me down, you lying sack of fucks! Put me downright fucking now!"
I ignore her, already calculating the fastest route out. In this position, I can hold her easily without doing any damage. The garden wall is only twenty feet away. I can make the jump easily, even with her in my arms. Get to the safe house, figure out what kind of hold those alphas have on her, deprogram whatever?—
A roar splits the air, primal and furious enough to make every hair on my body stand on end.
I look up to find death bearing down on me.
