Lucky’s bedroom door is left slightly ajar, and there’s a soft glow coming from inside. I listen for a moment, but I can’t hear anything, so I stop and knock lightly on the door.
“Go. Away!” her little voice yells, broken and hoarse, like she’s been crying her throat raw, and my heart aches.
“Lucky?” I say softly, carefully pushing the door open and sticking my head inside. “It’s me. Hannah.”
Lucky sits up, her blonde curls sticking up in every which way, and when she turns to look at me step inside, I can see just how red her face is, her cheeks tear-stained, eyes swollen and glassy. She sniffles, wiping her nose with the sleeve of herMoanaprint pajamas, and a heaving breath racks through her, making her tiny body shudder.
“Hi.” I wave, moving a few steps closer.
She eyes me curiously, her lips pressed together in a watery smile, and I can tell she’s on the verge of more tears but that she’s okay with me being here.
“Do you need a hug?”
She nods, and those tears win their battle, her face crumpling as she breaks down again.
I sit on the side of the bed and hold my arms out, and she crashes into me, burying her face into my chest to stifle her sobs.I wrap my arms around her, holding her secure yet not too tight, and we stay like this, my body rocking gently side to side until eventually her little cries begin to subside.
“Do you want to tell me why you’re upset, Lucky Duck?” I ask, trying and hoping my use of the pet name Happy uses for her is okay.
Thankfully she offers me a small smile, wiping her cheeks. “I saw my… daddy get… hurt.”
I smooth her hair back from her face. “I promise that wasn’t your daddy, honey. That was your daddy’s friend, Robbie.”
“But he had a nine on his back.” Lucky sniffles again.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s hard to see because it all goes so quickly. But Robbie is number nine and your daddy is number nineteen, a nine with a one in front. One, nine.” I draw the numbers in the air.
Lucky seems to process my words, looking up at me, her forehead puckered with worry. “Is Robbie okay?”
I sniff a laugh, nodding. “I promise you Robbie is super fine. I’m friends with him.”
“Is… is my daddy friends with him?”
I nod again. “Yeah. He’s one of your daddy’s best friends.”
Lucky looks down a moment, her slight shoulders falling with a big sigh. “I don’t know any of my daddy’s friends.” Before I can even think of something to say that might assure her, she continues. “Sometimes, I feel like my daddy keeps me a secret. And I don’t like it. It makes me feel bad.”
I consider my words, unsure how to respond to that because it’s true. Happy has kept Lucky a secret, but it’s been his way of protecting her. And while I understand that, how the hell do you explain it to a five year old? “Your daddy just wants to keep you safe, Lucky. He loves you very much. You’re his whole world.”
“I know.” She sighs again. “But it gets lonely. Because… I don’t have any friends.”
Oh, my heart. I touch her arm, urging her to look at me, and when she lifts her chin, her big brown eyes peer up at me, soinnocent and full of uncertainty. I offer her a reassuring smile. “I can be your friend.”
Her eyes widen, full of so much damn hope, it gets me right in the gut. “My best friend?”
“You bet!” I nod. “I’ve never had a real best friend before.”
“Me neither!” Lucky says on a gasp, her smile growing. Then, her eyes flit from side to side, suddenly devious as she lowers her voice to a whisper. “Can I show you something?”
“Uh… sure,” I say, uncertainty getting the better of me.
Lucky takes my hand and shimmies off the bed. “But we gotta berealquiet,” she whispers, skulking out of her room on her tip toes.
“Uh, maybe we should ask Allie,” I whisper back, suddenly worried I’m going to get into trouble like I’m not a fully grown adult.
Right at that moment, my phone buzzes in the pocket of my leggings and I pull it out, confused to see a text message from Allie.
Allie: It’s totally fine. She wants to show you her and Happy’s secret place. This is huge! Go with it.
