We were silent for a bit as I processed his words…so foreign, so overwhelming and yet, somehow, justifying, as if it underscored what I’d felt for him all along.
Finally, he said, “I just needed you to know—but tomorrow it’ll be like nothing happened.” That was easy for him to say, because it wasn’t like I could just forget everything he’d said. He gave me a short nod and squeezed my hand before standing up.
As he walked toward the door of the cabin, I said, “You didn’t drink your tea.”
He turned—and his face looked so sad. He was smiling—but his eyes were filled with tears. Then he shook his head. “I’m okay. Um…thanks.”
My voice sounded so strange to my ears when I stood. “You don’t know what will make me happy.” And maybe I didn’t either.
“What?”
“You said…” It didn’t matter what he’d said. I’dfeltwhat he meant. And I couldn’t find any words to say what was in my heart.
“I should go.”
“Zack,” I said, all my emotions pouring into that one word. “Wait.” I walked toward him, not sure what I was going to do but letting my instincts lead me. When I got near, all I could do was grab his arm and rest my head against his shoulder. There were so many things that needed to be said…but Zack and I had never been good at communicating, had we?
His voice low, he repeated himself. “I should go.”
“No. I…need you.”
My eyes searched his, looking for something but I didn’t know what. At that very moment, it was just him and me and the rest of the world disappeared. Slowly, he put his arm around me and pulled me close, and I felt everything fadeaway. For the first time ever, I knew Zack felt what I did and saw me through and through. Even through his open jacket and t-shirt, I could feel the warmth of his chest against my cheek and I could hear the hitch in his breathing—until it evened out. The way he held me felt like he was afraid he was going to break me…but like it was the very first time.
And, perhaps, the only time.
CHAPTER 28
The tears that fell from my eyes were like a raging waterfall, and Zack held me closer. I heard a noise from his throat, like he was choking, and I knew then that he was fighting tears too. Tightening my arms around him, I hoped to comfort us both.
Finally, though, I got myself back under control. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head to look at his face. His green eyes reflected what I felt—that we’d finally scaled some impossible mountain and wanted to just enjoy the world from that vantage point before returning to our normal lives. When he rested his forehead against mine, I kept looking in those eyes for answers.
But my heart already knew.
As if it were as natural as breathing, I tilted my chin so that my lips touched his—but I didn’t kiss him, because Zack pulled his head back slightly. Now, though, I knew that didn’t reflect what was in his heart. And, for some reason, I felt like I needed to kiss him just once. So this time, I moved my headforward ever so slightly and brushed his lips with mine before kissing him.
And, although it happened slowly, he began kissing me back. It wasn’t long before I could taste his tongue, and I realized I’d never fully known what he tasted like because there was usually a hint of alcohol…but I’d missed him.
When the kiss ended, Zack put his arms on my shoulders. “Tell me to stop. I’ll stop if you tell me to.”
My throat constricted, making my voice sound husky and foreign. “No. Don’t.”
It was then that our mouths clashed, years of pent-up desire, frustration, and longing unleashed like a horse at the gate and I pushed Zack’s jacket off his shoulders. But then it hit me…what I was doing, and I pulled back. “Braden…”
The pain in Zack’s eyes mirrored what I felt inside. “You love him.”
My brow creased. “I do. He’s given me more than I could have ever hoped for.”
Zack simply nodded and the grip of his hands against my back softened. But this one moment, Zack and me, was inevitable, and there was no stopping it. When I touched my lips to Zack’s again, he hesitated, perhaps confused, but I shoved my tongue in his mouth and we lost ourselves to passion. Again, I lifted his shirt and he pulled it over his head. As our mouths rejoined, I ran my fingers up his chest.
This was a Zack I had never felt.
His abs and pecs were firm against my flesh and filled out, muscular and honed. When we’d been together before, he’d been firm but thin—and his body now displayed his respect and care.
When he began kissing down my neck, my entire body responded: my nipples grew hard, aching for his touch, mypussy became slick, needing to feel him inside me one more time.
The last time.
Oh, God, I still loved this man…and it felt so right, even while my heart felt like it was being torn in two. So I focused on the physical, on what my body needed, telling myself that this was the only time. Once Braden and I said our vows, I would never, ever break them.
