At that, Roxy let out a nervous laugh. “I hopethatdoesn’t happen. But Dean…he’s fucking hot—and he asked me out on a date!”
“No way!”
“During a tour! Can you believe that? I mean…I knew rock stars liked to brag about having lots of sex on the road, but witnessing it firsthand is eye-opening.”
“Did they make you sign an NDA or anything?”
Roxy’s laugh filled my ear again. “No. I’m here to reveal whatever I want. It’s no holds barred. In fact, in my first meeting with them, they said I can write about anything. They literally want to earn the reputation of being the baddest boys since Mötley Crüe hit the scene.”
“So tell me about Dean.”
“Well…you already know he’s hotter than hell. And he’s an amazing kisser. He’s so masculine and muscular.”
“Have you slept with him yet?”
“Nope. Not till we actually go out—and they have a day off next week in Memphis and he’s promised to show me a good time.”
“I’m so happy for you!”
“I gotta tell you, D—between Dean and then walking down the aisle on Zack’s arm for your wedding—my cred with musicians is gonna be at an all-time high. I’ll be able to land any interview I want.”
“I guess I never thought that would be hard.”
“Depends on the subject.”
Thinking about Roxy walking up the aisle with Zack made that unease rumble in my belly again, and I glanced up at the picture of Once Upon a Riot on my bedside table. It was one of our first publicity stills when we were still living in Denver, after we’d been signed but before we’d begun touring. It hadn’t been that long ago…and yet it felt like ages. We looked younger and Zack was tattoo-free at the time. Cy and Braden’s hair was shorter—but we looked so happy. The guys draped their arms over shoulders while my arms held Zack and Braden at the waist, and we smiled at the camera.
Even today, in this moment, I felt like I was suspended between those two men.
And Roxy was, perhaps, the only person I could talk to about it. “Hey, can I tell you something?”
“Anything.”
“I…I’m wondering if I should call off the wedding.”
“What? Why?”
My eyes still focused on the picture, I whispered, “I just keep feeling like this is happening too fast.”
“Are you kidding? You and Braden have been dating for, like, two or three years, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So why do you think it’s too fast? How long do you think you should wait?” I didn’t have an answer—so she asked, “Or is it maybe something else?”
Long pregnant seconds grew as I tried to find the courage to say what had been niggling the back of my mind for so long. “Don’t get me wrong, Rox. I love Braden. I love him so much. You already know what a good guy he is, how attentive, how caring, how fucking sweet he is—and it’s not an act. That’s really who he is. He’s loyal and…” But I tapered off, because Roxy already knew all of Braden’s good qualities. “I just don’t know that I love himenough.”
“What do you mean?”
This time, I focused on sweet Braden’s kind brown eyes in the picture, his subtle smile and full lips. Why couldn’t I do what I knew I should? “I don’t love him the way he deserves.”
“He seems happy.”
“Well, yeah.” My gaze shifted to Zack. Goddamn that man. I blamed him for ruining me for what should have been theperfect relationship. “Do Ilikedrama?” I asked, voicing my fears out loud.
At that, Roxy belted out a raucous laugh. “Are you kidding? If you liked drama, you passed up a great opportunity at your shower.”
“Then what the hell is wrong with me?”
