“Yeah,” I said, nodding. I hated that I was really growing to like this girl—and I could understand why Zack had fallen for her.
And then we heard the front door open, the sounds of Zack and Cy laughing about something. It felt almost like old times.
After they entered the dining room and we all greeted each other, Braden said, “It takes two guys to buy cheese nowadays?”
Cy said, “I tagged along ‘cause I needed a few things,” he said, holding up a bag filled with items. “And I had to get out of here because it smelled too good.” With that, he continued walking to the kitchen.
“Aw. Thanks, Cy,” said Ellie. Then she snuggled up next to Zack and, getting on her tiptoes, kissed him. Even holding the bag of cheese in one hand, he wrapped one hand around her neck and gave her a passionate kiss—and I averted my eyes, grabbing a chip.
When they finally finished, Zack said, “I’ve got my best friends here and my best girl…so let’s eat.”
“Yourbestgirl?” Ellie teased. “I thought I was youronlygirl.”
To answer her question, Zack swatted her on the behind playfully as she darted off to the kitchen. It was like him and Gabi all over again. Zack said to Braden and me, “Let’s go fill up our plates.”
Soon, we were all seated around the dining room table, enjoying the meal Ellie had prepared for us—and I had to be honest. “This is all really good, Ellie. Thank you.”
“Aw…thanks! I can’t really take credit, though. The tamales are my mom’s and I used her recipe for the chili.”
“Don’t be so modest,” Zack said. “You started those goddamned beans yesterday. She’s been slaving in there all day.”
Her lips were pressed together but her eyes were all smiles. Finally, she said, “I didn’t want to disappoint your friends.”
Braden reassured her. “You haven’t.”
The only disappointment I was sure anyone at that table felt was me over the emotions I couldn’t release—the feeling of Zack belonging to me and here he was already in another relationship.
Why couldn’t I just be happy for him? He deserved to feel loved and fulfilled and live a good life, and if it kept him sober, all the better. I tried to tap back into the friendly love I’d had for him in high school before becoming smitten, and I told myself maybe what I’d felt for him later had and would always be an immature love. Maybe I’d never learned how to selflessly connect with him—and the dysfunction of our previous relationship spoke to that.
Braden put down his fork, reaching for his glass of Dr. Pepper on ice. “I wanted to ask you guys something.”
Although none of us were sure whoyou guyswere, Zack said, “Shoot.”
“Well…the wedding is getting close. And, uh, I wondered if you guys would be in our…” he paused, looking at me, “wedding…party?”
“How do you mean?”
“Zack, we’ve been friends for a long time, and I always considered you my best friend. I know we’ve had some rough spots over the past few years, but I still think of you as my best friend—so would you be my best man?”
Something quickly flickered over Zack’s eyes, almost as ifI’d been looking at the sky and a hummingbird had flown past so quickly, I’d barely seen it. I had no idea what had caused that or what it meant, but it was gone as soon as he spoke. “Hell, yeah. I’d be honored.”
“And Cy,” Braden continued without missing a beat, “would you be my groomsman?”
Cy nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it. I’ve heard it’s a great way to meet women.”
“Oh!” Ellie nearly squealed. “This is so romantic!”
I wasn’t sure about that…but Ididknow that I needed to focus like Braden. Whatever had been holding me back, some weird notion in the back of my brain that Zack and I belonged together—I felt myself finding out I could let go.
I had to. Once and for all.
The last legof the tour for our third album kicked off mid-January. Before that, though, Braden and I worked with my mom to choose the venue and finalize the guest list, adding a few names to the list my mother had already put together with Braden’s mom when she’d sent out the save-the-date invites. I’d also had a fitting for my wedding dress, and I promised to fly Roxy in once we were back for my mom to finish putting her dress together. Roxy had sent her measurements, but my mom wanted to be sure early on—and Braden’s sister had come over twice and already left with her beautiful mauve dress.
We planned to have the bridal shower in the middle of March—and my dear mother took care of those invitations as well. I planned to reward her with a vacation later in the summer to thank her, although the relief she seemed to experience now that I was participating in planning was huge initself. We also managed to choose a cake, hire a caterer, and book accommodations for the entire wedding party before we hit the road.
Ellie joined us for the first week of the tour. It was nice having her along—until I had to hear her and Zack having sex in their bunk.
The tour itself was phenomenal, and with Zack clear-eyed, not buried under the haze of alcohol, he could see that the fans reallydidlove this album, critics be damned.
