Putting a hand on my shoulder, Braden stepped over the bench and then sat next to me. “Anything exciting happening over here?”
I gave him a smile and shook my head. “Only if you think an Italian sub is stimulating.”
Braden laughed. “Depends on who you talk to.”
The four of us settled into a conversation about food—but the best part was that it felt like our early Denver days as we’d adjusted to adulthood and having roommates who you liked but sometimes got on your nerves. Still, even under themakeup, it looked like Zack was pale and, although he was laughing and joking, there was a tightness between his eyebrows that revealed the truth.
I’d looked at that man’s face far too many years to miss it.
When we were given five minutes to reassemble, I held Braden’s hand, forcing him to hold back when I didn’t walk with him. Fortunately, he didn’t resist and turned. “What’s up?”
I kept my voice low but talked quickly. “Zack and I talked for a little bit while you and Cy were gone. I think he’s trying hard to stay sober but he’s struggling.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“He needs our support—but I’m not sure what to do.”
“Maybe if we have time tonight, we could talk to him.”
“Excuse me,” Jean Pierre’s voice boomed through a megaphone. “If it’s not too inconvenient for you two, could I request your presence over here?”
My cheeks burned hot even while Braden grinned at me. I said “Sorry” as we hustled over to the group. Now that it was dark enough, he was ready to begin filming the “concert.” To keep it easier for us to “play” our instruments, they would play the recorded version of the song, and I’d bang the drums and cymbals just like I would if I were in concert; Braden, Cy, and Zack would pluck and shred as well. The models would be at the foot of the stage. While we were getting our makeup touched up, I saw several people being let through the gates—ah. These were the extras who would fill out the “audience” surrounding the models. Before they approached, they were all getting their faces dabbed with powder.
Jean Pierre said, “Places. We’ll go in five.”
“I need to use the john,” Zack said.
“Make it quick.”
Cy, Braden, and I got up on stage and I took my place onthe stool behind the drum kit. Meanwhile, Cy and Braden strapped on their instruments and moved to the area on the stage floor that was taped as their marks.
And we waited.
Jean Pierre, meanwhile, walked across the lot and talked with the extras to give them direction.
And Zack wasstillin one of the two porta potties on the lot. Was he getting sick?
It was a possibility…but when he finally got up on stage, I couldn’t help but notice that he was full-on Rock Star Zack—and he was as calm as I’d ever seen him.
That could only mean one thing.
CHAPTER 13
The first time we played through the song as a first shot/ mini rehearsal, I played by rote, even though this song was still relatively new to me. But I couldn’t help it. I was convinced that Zack had either taken a drink or something else in the porta potty to calm his nerves. And the more we played, the more positive I was that I was right.
But, up till that point, I was convinced he’d been sober. Was that why he’d been shaking and kind of out of it? Was he trying to sober up without rehab—and this was just too much? Or was he so dependent upon the substances he was abusing that he couldn’t dry out without help?
Oh, Zack.
My heart ached for him. Regardless of loving Braden, I still cared deeply for Zack—and I wanted the best for him. In a way, I was even proud of him for trying, because I knew alcohol had been his way of coping with life, a way of drowning out all the loudness of his own mind.
For now, though, we had a job to do, and Jean Pierre would be good at spotting how my focus was off, so I concentratedon the song. Several times, he had us play the first verse and chorus and he had one guy taking handheld shots up on the stage. Although he got a few close-up shots of me, he mostly moved around the stage, taking video of the guys from almost every conceivable angle—including shots of the audience. We had to keep playing over and over as they moved the other cameras, again to capture as much as possible. It was fun watching the guys all but dance around the stage as if we were playing a real concert.
When we switched to playing the second verse, chorus, and bridge, it was time for Zack to jump off stage to serenade Elidi. Even though the words had nothing to do with love, the two of them had to act like they were discovering they were soulmates. Right before the chorus, one member of the crew standing behind him would take his guitar as Zack pulled it over his head effortlessly, like it was a t-shirt. I didn’t know for sure until I saw the completed video, but they didn’t get the crew member in the shot. Instead, it just looked as if the guitar either fell to the ground or vaporized.
After taking off the guitar, Zack stroked Elidi’s cheek and then left his fingers on her chin as she looked like she was falling completely in love with him. Then he touched his forehead to hers as he finished singing the chorus. Over and over we did that scene, and it made me frustrated as I felt something gnawing at me. I got angry when I realized what it was.
I was fucking jealous.
