“Yeah. A few days. You know I’m gonna mess shit up the first couple times we play it together no matter what. That’s how I get good at it—playing with you guys.”
“Dani?”
“I think I need to spend my time learning the washboard. The rest of it shouldn’t be too hard.” And, of course, I planned to add my own spin to the basic tracks Zack had laid down. There wasn’t anything special about the drums he’d played in the fifteen songs he shared and I was certain that, once I grew to know and love them, I’d be able to add my own flair.
And I would fight to record them that way.
Nodding, Zack stood and walked over to the drum kit—but he simply picked up an almost brand-new washboard that had been leaning against the wall that I hadn’t even noticed. As he handed me a thimble, he said, “I can show you how to play it to get that sound.”
“Can I mess around with it first?” The less time I spent with Zack, the better, because hearing all his music had simply rekindled the fire inside that burned for him.
“Yeah, sure. Just let me know if you need me to show you anything.”
As my mouth went dry, I nodded again.
After more discussion about the tracks, the entire band was re-energized. Following our grueling time on the road, this was exactly what we’d needed to get us to refocus on our dreams. Zack must have known that.
So when I got in Braden’s car, I was excited to talk more about it—until I saw his face. But his words gave nothing away. “Did you want me to take you home or—”
“I thought I was spending the night at your place.”
“Yeah. Just checking.”
Oh, God. What was going on? “Is everything okay? Do you hate the new songs?”
“No, I think they’re great.” As Braden pulled onto the street, he sighed softly. Keeping his eye on the road, he asked, “Do you still love him?”
Shit. He’d asked me this before—and the only reason why I could think he was asking again had to be because of something that had happened at Zack’s. Had it been the way Zack and I had instantly rebounded when we talked about music? Or had my eyes changed as Zack’s music had infused every pore, every vein?
Was my undying love for that man that obvious?
But it didn’t matter. Zack had already proven himself unworthy of any emotions I had for him. I could continue to love and care about him as a friend, respect and adore him as an artist, but I couldn’t allow him in my heart. No more.
Before answering Braden, I conjured up all those bad emotions—the time after time after time when Zack had hurt me, whether by callous obliviousness or by overt rejection. Zack’s actions spoke far louder than his words and, when I concentrated on those toxic feelings, I could convince myself that we were through forever.
“No. He’s a hell of a musician and he’ll always be my friend…but I’m with you now, Braden. And I want to make us work.”
At the stop sign, Braden turned his head to look at me, a gentle smile plastered on his face. As if to emphasize my words, I reached over and touched his hand on the steeringwheel. “Me too, Dani,” he said, driving the car toward his house where I knew he’d hold me close all night long.
Braden was my future, and I needed to cling to him until I could force Zack out of my heart for good.
CHAPTER 7
Afew days later on Friday, I was practicing beats along with the recordings Zack had sent me. Unlike what the rest of our band did, now that I was super comfortable in my role, I felt like I didn’t have to memorize anything…that when I heard the music—whether live, recorded, or just in my head—my hands and feet knew what to do.
And the more I listened to the songs, the more I loved them.
Unfortunately, as I became more familiar with the songs, the more my mind wandered. At first, I marveled at how much emotion bled through Zack’s music, even when I didn’t know the lyrics that went with them, and I wondered if that was why he’d decided to infuse our brand of metal with blues.
It worked—and I knew most of our fans would love it.
Later on, my mind did more wandering, but it shifted to Braden. I knew he was the right guy for me without a doubt, but his family left a lot to be desired. After spending multiple evenings and mornings at his place, it hadn’t taken long for me to realize that Braden and his sisters all took after theirmother, a quiet, meek soul. His dad seemed nice enough most of the time, but when he got angry, he took it all out on their mother. It was all verbal abuse but abuse nonetheless, telling her she was worthless, questioning how she’d managed to stay alive all these years without killing herself.
So many times, I wondered why she stayed…and that always made me wonder why I’d stayed with Zack so long. Did Braden’s mother love his father so much that she overlooked his worst qualities?
Taking a break, I got up and stretched my neck, moving around the room and I picked up my phone to send a text to Braden.Miss you.
I went to the kitchen to refill my glass of water, my brain focused on Braden. We’d agreed to spend the weekend apart so he could work on the songs. He was such an important part of our band, adding depth and rhythm to Zack and Cy’s screaming guitars, and I knew Braden strived for perfection.
