I drew in a deep breath through my nostrils, nodding my head as my brain tried to find a rational way to say the words I needed to get out. More than that, I fought to keep my voice calm and low. “I think you need to add another rule.”
“Yeah, what’s that?” he said, his voice cocky and full of challenge.
“I think we need to incorporate a no-alcohol, no-drugs rule while we’re on tour.”
“You just can’t let that shit go, can you?”
I was so proud of how my voice remained calm and in control. “When’s the last time you had a drink?”
“I’ve got a better question for you: how do I seem right now?”
Honestly, he seemed fine. He didn’t act like he had a hangover, even though I knew he might have been partying the night before—on his “date” with someone I might actually have known from our school days. I also didn’t smell any alcohol on him—and he was clean and well groomed.
I hated to admit the truth, but I couldn’t claim I had the high ground if I couldn’t be rational. “You seem fine.”
“Exactly. And this is all you’ll ever see from me from now on.”
“All right.” Glancing at my plate, I considered eating another fry—but what little appetite I’d had was gone.
“I’m telling you Idon’tneed rehab. I…appreciate that you guys love me enough to care, but I’mfine.”
“Okay.”
“And right now, I need to worry about my grandpa.”
Just that thought made me think of my own grandparents and how I’d feel if they had been acting like Zack’s grandpahad the night before. His mother must have told him about his grandpa needing to be helped in from the backyard. “How’s he doing today?”
“My mom scheduled an appointment for him with his cardiologist in Pueblo—so she asked if I could take him if she can’t get the day off from work. But gramps says he’s fine.”
I nodded, pushing my plate aside, but I didn’t say anything else.
“And I know he is, ‘cause when I talked to him, he was asking me about my date last night.”
My teeth clenched together, and I was afraid it would be obvious—so I just grabbed my hot chocolate—now lukewarm—and downed it.
That was the best reminder that it was over between me and Zack. I had to stop thinking of him as two parts of a whole—because Old Friend Zack had been gobbled up by Mr. Rock Star, and I knew there would be no going back, no matter how many glimpses I saw of his old self.
Rock Star Zack didn’t deserve my love and adoration. He could have my platonic love and caring, but I had to protect my heart.
And sweet Braden…he deserved nothing less than all of it.
CHAPTER 6
Afew days later, the band met in that old back bedroom at Zack’s house where we’d first gelled as a band. Zack even had snacks on a tiny table—cold but non-alcoholic beverages in a cooler, a bowl of pretzels and one of potato chips.
Maybe this was a good start.
But the same old chairs were back there and an old drum kit. I wasn’t about to confess that the one I’d had on the road was still sitting in the shed at my house. I hadn’t had the stomach to look at it—but now that we’d have new songs to practice, I had something to look forward to.
I actuallywantedto play the drums again.
It hadn’t even been two weeks, but I could have gone on the road once more if needed. Our time apart and back at home had really helped ground me.
Of course, Braden sitting right next to me hadn’t hurt.
Even now, though, we didn’t hold hands or touch each other, and I wondered if we could move past that. After all, itwasn’t like Zack didn’t know about us. Still, we were in a professional setting here and didn’t need to distract anyone from what the meeting was about.
After Zack offered us drinks and snacks, he sat in a chair across from the three of us. “I’ve written fifteen songs, but I think the label wants us to keep no more than twelve.”
