For me, that memory was clear and bright and perfect: the first time Lily had smiled at me. Really smiled—not the cautious half-smile she gave the crew, not the mask she wore to survive. A real smile, surprised and delighted and so beautiful it had stopped my ancient heart in my chest. I couldn't even remember what—and she'd laughed. Actually laughed. And the sound had rewritten something fundamental in my soul.
That memory. That perfect, precious memory of the moment I'd realized I would die for her, kill for her, burn the entire world for her. The witch wanted me to give it up. To have it ripped from my mind, leaving nothing but an empty space where joy had once lived.
"Done." The word left my mouth before I could stop it, before I could think, before I could do anything but react to the desperate need clawing at my chest.
"Kaelan—" Riven started, his voice cracked with horror.
"Done." I repeated, meeting the witch's bottomless eyes without flinching. "You can have it. My happiest memory. Whatever you want. Just give us what we need."
The witch's smile softened into something that almost looked like pity. "And you, scarred one? What say you?"
Riven was shaking. I could feel it through the bond—a fine tremor running through his entire body, fear and rage and grief all tangled together into something that made my chest ache. His happiest memory, I knew, was similar to mine. A moment with Lily. The first time she'd touched his scars without flinching, the first time she'd looked at him like he was beautiful instead of broken.
"Done." His voice was barely a whisper, cracked and broken. "Take it. Take whatever you want. Just... save her."
The witch nodded slowly, satisfaction gleaming in her dark eyes.
"Then we have an agreement." She raised one long, thin hand, her fingers extending toward us like reaching claws. "Give me what I'm owed."
The extraction hurt. I'd expected pain—the witch's magic always hurt—but this was something else entirely. It felt like she was reaching into my skull, her cold fingers wrapping around something bright and warm and essential, and pulling. Ripping. Tearing it away from the place where it had lived for... how long? Days? Weeks? I couldn't remember anymore.
Something important was leaving me. Something that mattered. Something that had made everything else worthwhile.
Then it was gone.
I floated in the cold water of the witch's cave, gasping for breath I didn't need, and tried to understand what I'd lost. There was a gap in my mind now—a dark space where light had once lived. I knew something precious had been there. I knew it had been important. But when I reached for it, tried to remember what it had felt like, there was nothing.
Just emptiness.
Just cold.
Beside me, Riven made a sound like an animal dying. His hands were pressed to his head, his claws drawing thin lines of blood that spiraled into the water around him. His golden eyes were wide and glazed with pain, with grief, with the terrible knowledge of what we'd just sacrificed.
"There now." The witch's voice drifted through the darkness, satisfied and sated. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" She pressed two vials into my numb hands—one filled with amber liquid, the other with something that shimmered blue-green in the sicklylight. "Scent blocker. Swimming potion. Enough to last your little human one month. Use it wisely."
I stared at the vials, trying to remember why they mattered. Something about... someone. Someone important. The gaps in my memory made it hard to think, hard to focus on anything but the aching emptiness where something beautiful had once lived.
"Go now." The witch's voice was dismissive, already bored with us. "Before I change my mind and ask for something else."
We went.
The journey back was a blur. I swam mechanically, my body remembering the currents even as my mind struggled to piece together what had happened. Riven swam beside me in silence, his scarred face wet with something that might have been tears.
Halfway back to the garden, he spoke.
"I can't remember." His voice was hollow, devastated. "There was something... something important. Something about her. And now it's just... gone."
"I know." The words scraped against my throat like broken shells. "I can't remember either."
"What did we give up?" His golden eyes found mine, desperate and afraid. "What did we sacrifice? It felt... it felt like everything, Kaelan. Like the most important thing I've ever had."
I didn't answer. I couldn't. Because the truth was, I didn't know. I just knew that there was a hole in my chest where something precious had lived, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember what had filled it.
When I thought about Lily—when I pictured her face, her smile, the sound of her laugh—something in that empty space stirred. Not a memory. Not anymore. Just a feeling. A certainty.
Whatever I'd given up, whatever price I'd paid, it had been worth it.
She was worth it.
