I led Zane inside and watched as he toed off his heavy combat boots, leaving them by the door. He was still dressed head to toe in his army fatigues and I was under no illusions that he’d come straight here. Whether it was for a visit or longer, I had no idea. But after everything we’d been through, I knew I wasn’t kicking him out.
After I reheated him some leftovers, we were back out on the porch shooting the shit. He told me stories from after I’d left, but we were steering well clear of all the serious topics surrounding us. If Zane didn’t want to talk about it, then I wasn’t going to push. I’d been where he was right now, and it wasn’t easy. Readjusting to life out in the real world wasn’t seamless, and even now, there were days I struggled.
“Whoever thought Staff Sargeant Cole Flanigan would become farmer Cole.”
“I know I certainly didn’t,” I admitted, not at all ashamed.
I was proud of what I’d done. I’d done my duty to my country but now I wanted a quiet life. I needed it. I’d earned it.
“It seems to suit you,” he commented.
“It does. I love it out here. I spend most of my time outside in the wide-open spaces …”
“Without anyone in your face,” Zane finished for me.
“Exactly.”
“You did good, Cole. You really did,” he commented, rocking back in the chair and closing his eyes.
I looked around and realized he was right. Night was falling, the sun had faded, and stars stretched above us as far as the eye could see.
I thought he’d fallen asleep when he asked, “You ever think about going back?” catching me off-guard.
“Not really. I mean, it wasn’t easy at first, and I missed my family, but now, I’m where I should be,” I confirmed, knowing in my heart how true my statement was.
“I think you’re right,” Zane mumbled.
I swallowed down my nerves. I knew I had to ask but wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear the answer.
“What are your plans?” I dared to ask.
Zane’s eyes sprang open, and he looked over at me. I could see the guy I knew like he was my own flesh and blood staring back at me, but he was buried under the tough exterior of a man who’d seen too much. His eyes were tired and deep, dark bags sat under them. The scruff on his jaw had turned salt and pepper, and he desperately needed a haircut.
“Not a fucking clue,” he answered honestly with a sigh.
I didn’t hesitate. “Stay as long as you want,” I offered.
“You sure?”
I hated that he looked at me with surprise. Even if I had to give up my own bed, I wouldn’t kick him out. Zane was welcome to stay as long as he wanted.
“Absolutely.”
It was the easiest decision I’d ever made.
“Thanks, man. I just need a couple of days …” he started to justify, and I understood without him explaining.
Getting out was hard. Harder than getting in. When you go into military life you have all these dreams and beliefs of what you’re signing up for. Then you pass the exams, ace the medical and somehow find yourself as property of the United States Army. Then for years, you follow orders. They tell you when to eat, when to sleep, and where to go. It becomes as easy as breathing. Then the end sneaks up on you. Sometimes, it’s unexpected, and you're medically discharged and other times,even though you see it coming, even though you know it’s your time, the reality is when it gets here, you're not ready. You’re never ready.
“Take as long as you want,” I assured him.
“Mind if I grab a shower?”
“Not at all. Let me find you a towel,” I offered, collecting the empty bottles and heading inside while Zane went to grab his duffle bag.
While Zane showered, I cleaned up. My mind was racing. I couldn’t believe he was actually here. I still mightn’t know why or for how long, but it didn’t matter. Zane had made it home. And while I wasn’t dumb enough to believe he didn’t have scars that no amount of time could ever heal, he was standing and he was home.
I was just emptying the trash when another set of headlights came down the drive, but this time it was a car I recognized. Grace had made it. I hoped she would, and she said she would, but part of me worried she’d change her mind or regret everything we’d done last night and this morning.
