“Mom?” Noelle cooed, and I swear Holly’s shoulders tensed. It must be hard having a child who asked questions you didn’t know were coming and couldn’t prepare for.
“Yes, Noelle,” Holly replied, closing the curtains again and turning back to her daughter.
“Will you play cards with us? Chris was teaching me,” Noelle asked, and I swear my own chest deflated. An innocent question with an easy answer.
Holly must’ve felt the same. “Absolutely.” Holly smiled, before looking over Noelle’s head and catching my eye.
Even sick and sad, Holly was beautiful. This woman deserved the world. I just wasn’t the man who could give it to her. My own scars were too deep, I was too damaged to ever be good enough for someone like Holly. She was all sweetness and light, and I was too far gone for saving.
Needing to break the heaviness, I suggested Holly shuffle while I got snacks.
Time passed easily. We chatted about our childhoods, played cards, and laughed. Noelle had gotten bored after twenty minutes and was off playing with her dolls again and entertaining herself. She was a truly remarkable kid. Independent, creative, and tough. I was in awe.
“You feeling any better?” I asked Holly when she yawned widely.
“A bit. I’m just so tired,” she admitted as she rolled her neck on her shoulders trying to work out a kink.
“Why don’t you get some rest?” I suggested.
“I can’t!” Holly snapped back quickly.
“Why not? The mattress is right there. Take your blankets, curl up, and have a nap. You’re sick and you need rest,” I tried to rationalize.
“I don't have time to be sick.”
Holly was one stubborn woman. “Now is the perfect time to be sick actually. You can’t go anywhere or do anything. You might as well take care of yourself now so once the power is back and the roads are clear, you’re as good as new.”
I was surprised by how bitter my words tasted. I was already packing them up and shoving them out the door when it was the last thing I wanted them to do.
“Noelle …”
“Is fine. She’s right there playing happily. She’s warm, safe, entertained, and fed. And she’ll be right here when you wake up,” I assured her.
“I don’t know.”
I wanted to laugh. Not at Holly but at the situation. A few hours ago, I had her daughter outside in the snow throwing snowballs and running around while she slept upstairs, and now she was worried.
“I promise, Holly. She’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure?”
That was the moment I knew I’d won the battle. “Absolutely.” With a grin and not another word, I positioned the air mattress, stacked the pillows, and watched as Holly climbed in. It took less than five minutes before she was asleep.
Noelle was content playing with her dolls and making up weird and wonderful situations to put them in. The kid never stopped amazing me. Her creativity was something I’d neverseen before. I couldn’t remember ever being like that when I was younger. So, with Holly asleep and Noelle entertained, I dropped into the uncomfortable office chair behind my desk and started sorting through the pile of bills.
They were never-ending. The paperwork never stopped coming. I’d thought I’d be a mechanic so I could avoid being cooped up in an office or stuck behind a computer staring blindly at the screen. Turns out, there was no escaping it.
Over the years, I’d thought about hiring someone to help, even for a few hours a week to take this shit off my plate, but that would mean someone pestering me for answers, asking questions I didn’t know the answers to, and having to talk to. Since she who shall not be named upended my life, I’d become a recluse and that’s the way I liked it. At least, it’s the way I thought I liked it. Holly and Noelle were changing things. Having them around, having them in my space, taking over my bathroom, and kicking me out of my own bed didn’t bother me like I thought it would. Maybe enough time had passed that the hurt had dulled, or maybe, just maybe it was them. I shook my head at the thought. I couldn’t let myself go there. Right now, they needed me but there would come a time, sooner rather than later, when that changed and they were on their way, barely sparing a glance in the rearview mirror only to have forgotten me the moment they rounded the corner.
“Chris?” I looked up and found Noelle standing beside my desk.
“What’s up?” I asked as I rolled my neck back and forth, trying to work out the stiffness.
“Can we have something to eat, please? I’m hungry,” Noelle asked.
I glanced behind her at Holly still sound asleep, not having moved a muscle. When I stood up from my desk, I pushed the curtains back and peeked out the window. It wasdark now. The whole town once again enveloped in darkness, but the sounds of the storm had eased. The branches on the trees stood still and for the first time in days it wasn’t snowing.
“You know what I feel like?” I asked Noelle, walking toward her.
