I shoved the truck into park and killed the ignition. Just as I went to jump out, Holly leaned across the cab and placed her hand on my knee. A zing spread through my body, electrifying every nerve ending.
“Thank you for doing this. I know, it’s not your thing …” she began, but I had to cut her off.
“You’re welcome. We can’t very well celebrate Christmas without a tree, can we?” I asked, loud enough for Noelle to hear.
The last thing I wanted to do was to share my sad sob story with Holly and ruin the holidays, even though I had the feeling she had one of her own.
“Now, are we ready to go pick a tree?” I asked to be rewarded with cheers and clapping. “Let’s do it then,” I suggested, swinging open my door and jumping out. The moment my feet hit the ground they sank into the soft snow.
Holly trudged around the car and pulled open Noelle’s door.
“Hey, Noelle?”
“Yes?”
“How about a piggyback ride up to the barn?” I offered.
Holly sent me a surprised look, but I didn’t flinch. I didn’t need Noelle to get wet and cold, and this seemed like the best idea.
After a knee to the ribs and her arms almost cutting off my air supply as they wound around my neck, she settled on my back, and together, we trudged up to the barn.
Stepping inside, the smell of pine and cinnamon hit me. Evergreen Lake was not the place to be if you didn’t like Christmas. Ornaments lined the walls, wreaths hung in a line, and stockings were lined up on the shelves. They were low on stock, but that was to be expected this time of year. Most people had been organized for weeks and were probably already at home, drinking hot cider and eating cookies.
“Chris … this is …” Holly started.
I glanced over at her and saw the wonder written all over her face. Her eyes were wide, and she didn’t know where to look first. I slid Noelle from my back, gently setting her back on the ground. When she reached for my hand, I froze.
I looked at Holly for her guidance. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I didn’t have kids. As an only child, I had no nieces or nephews, and I had no idea. When Holly just smiled, I let Noelle slide her hand into mine. Hers felt so tiny wrapped in mine. She trusted me and I hadn't earned it. I didn’t deserve it. But fuck me there was no way in hell I was going to screw it up and let her down.
“Mom! Let’s go find a tree,” Noelle directed.
Holly’s wondrous face came back to us. “All right. Let’s go pick a tree, and then maybe we can find some ornaments,” Holly told Noelle, and I found myself nodding along.
I didn’t know them. I’d met them less than twenty-four hours ago and they were upending my life and transforming me into someone I didn’t recognize.
For so long, I’d associated Christmas with hurt and anger. I’d spent the holidays locked away at home, watching action movies, eating toasted sandwiches, and waiting for the season to pass and the town to return to normal. All it took was a beautiful woman and her gorgeous daughter crashing into my life and I wasn’t just giving up my bed, but I was leaving my pain behind me and starting to live again.
It felt good.
Even if it only lasted a few days, I was going to enjoy it. Or die trying anyway.
I wanted to see Christmas through the eyes of a child. Through the eyes of someone who hadn’t been burned by life and left scarred. Someone who still believed in Santa and saw the wonder of the world around them.
Two hours later, we’d looked at every single tree left atWinter Farms. Twice. Holly and I had landed on a six-foot Colorado Bruce Spruce, but Noelle kept trying to talk us into the four-foot, kinda patchy Balsam Fir.
“Sweetie, this one’s missing some branches here,” Holly tried to reason with her, but Noelle wasn’t having it.
“This is the one I want, Mom!”
I felt the need to put an end to the argument. “I think we go with the Balsam Fir,” I declared only for Holly to look at me like I was a traitor. “Yes, it looks a little bit sad, but with some lights and baubles, I think it will look great! Besides, someone has to take it.”
“Yeah!” Noelle cheered.
While I organized the tree and got it loaded, Noelle and Holly headed inside to pick out some ornaments.
With the tree secured, I went in to pay only to find Holly pushing a cart filled with Christmas crap. I might be coming around to a tree, but judging from the overflowing cart, my apartment was about to be turned into Santa’s workshop. I gulped. I wasn’t sure I was ready for all this, but Noelle deserved a Christmas to remember so I’d suck it up and play along.
“I just got a few things,” Holly told me meekly as I fell in step beside her.
