“But if you came looking for me.”
“I was just about to bang on the bathroom door when I heard you.”
“Heard me what?”
Jake swallowed and lifted me from his lap before popping up to his feet. The loss of his warmth, cocooning me from the pain was instant. I watched as he started pacing, dragging his hands through his hair and staring at the sky. My stomach turned over uneasily, and I wished I’d skipped the beer with dinner. Whatever Jake was about to say had him on edge. After everything he’d already shared, I wasn’t sure I would be left in one piece after he managed to say it.
“Jake. Tell me. You heard me what?” I pushed, forcing myself to my feet and dusting off my butt.
“You were on the phone. You must’ve been. You were talking to someone, I assumed Cassidy, telling her about our night. About us.”
“Oh fuck,” I swore, my hands covering my mouth as the urge to vomit all over Shelley’s flowers reappeared like another bad memory. “Jake, I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean…”
Grabbing my hands, Jake peeled them away from my face and held tight. “You did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. You need to know that. Everything you said was exactly what I wanted to hear, but I couldn’t give it to you.”
“You already were.”
“Not like I needed to. If Dad kicked me out, if he disowned me and took everything I had, then I had nothing to offer you. I had a grand, maybe two, in my bank account, and that was it. I was just a kid who had no idea.”
“Jake…”
“I heard you tell Cassidy about the big wedding you wanted. The white dress. The flowers. I couldn’t give you any of that.”
“That’s just stuff. I didn’t need any of it. I needed you.”
“And you had me, but I had nothing more to give you.”
“So you left.”
“I left.”
“You left me crying in the dirt because you thought I wanted a fancy wedding rather than the man I loved waiting for me at the end of the aisle.”
“It wasn’t like that…” he started, but I’d moved beyond upset. I’d jumped straight to pissed off.
“It was exactly like that. Instead of being a man and talking to me, you packed your bag and ran.”
“Kellie…”
“You didn’t look back, Jake. You broke my heart, and you didn’t even look back!” I cried painfully.
“I did, Marshmallow. I did look back.”
“But I wasn’t enough.”
“You were. You were more than enough. I was just too dumb to see it at the time. I’d made it barely two miles down the road when I pulled over and threw up everywhere. I wanted to come back. I wanted to come back so bad, but I knew I couldn’t. Not until I made something of myself. Until I was the man you deserved, I couldn’t come back to you.”
“And now? Are you the man I deserve?” I dared to ask.
My palms were clammy, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was standing outside in the middle of the yard, and there was no air.
“No.”
My heart sank.
“But if you give me a chance, I want to spend the rest of my life trying to be… for you and Cassidy.”
“Jake…” I whined before slapping his chest.
