“Why?”
“Because it’s not who I am.”
“What? Of course it is. You’re my marshmallow. Always have been. Always will be.”
“Jake, the girl you remember, the one who was your marshmallow, she’s been gone for a long time. I’m just not that person anymore.”
“What are you talking about? Of course you are.”
I must have pissed her off or something because the next thing I know, she was throwing her hands up in the air and pushing out of her chair.
“Jake, I love you. I’ve always loved you. You know that, but shit changes. People change. They have to. Life throws them curveballs, and they have choices to make. They can either curl in a ball and cry, or they pull up their big girl panties and keep going. So that’s what I did. I pressed on. I had to. Everything I knew, everything I loved was gone, and I had to keep going. Seeing those two lines on the pregnancy test took away my choices.”
“Kel…”
“No, Jake, you don’t understand what it was like. You got to decide. You chose to walk out. You chose to leave.”
“I had to!” I boomed, louder than I’d intended, but it seemed it wasn’t only Kellie’s buttons that were being pushed tonight. “You don’t understand. Dad was…”
“What? Dad was what, Jake?”
“You know.”
“No, I don't. And you want to know why I don't know? I don't know because you didn’t tell me. You just left. You packed your truck and left. Left me standing in a cloud of dust, crying my eyes out because you took off and didn’t even look back.”
“I looked back,” I admitted, my heart hurting all over again.
“No, you didn’t,” Kellie sniffled. “Because if you did, you wouldn’t have kept going.”
Stepping off the porch, Kellie wrapped her arms around herself and started walking away.
“Shit!”
Impossible decisions. I was the master at making the wrong one, but this time I couldn’t afford to. This time I had everything on the line. Fucking up wasn’t an option. I had to get it right, or I risked destroying the family I’d give up everything for.
Ducking inside, I found Cassie curled up in Mom’s lap, Mom’s fingers trailing through her hair, and Cassie’s eyes flickering closed.
“Mom, I have to…”
“Go. We’re fine here,” she assured me.
Not sticking around to ask questions, I slipped out the back door and down the steps in search of the woman who held my heart. Blinking, I waited for my eyesight to adjust to the darkness before I kept moving. There were so many places out here where Kellie could go that held memories for us I didn’t know where to start. I knew this was a conversation we needed to have to have, I just didn’t think it would explode like this.
Reaching a fork in the road, one way leading back to my place and the other to the front gate, I broke into a jog before pulling up short, certain I’d heard something. Freezing where I was, I listened, ignoring the sounds of the cattle grazing in the nearby paddock and waited.
The sobbing came again, and I spun on my heel and jogged toward the gate. Rounding the corner, my heart shattered into a million pieces when my eyes landed on Kellie. She was kneeling on the ground, her head in her hands, sobs wracking her body in the exact same spot I’d seen her fall as I’d driven away all those years ago. She didn’t believe I’d looked back, but I did. The memory of her crying into the dirt haunted me. It was almost enough for me to turn around and come back. Almost. If it hadn't been for Dad standing ten feet behind her looking stubborn and sour, I probably would have. And with hindsight, I know what I should’ve done.
Taking long steps, I closed the distance between us.
“Kellie,” I called softly.
“Go away, Jake.”
“Not gonna happen, sweetheart.”
“Please. Just leave me alone.”
“Nope. Not going anywhere.”
