“Yeah, I thought I saw…” I watched as the guy vaulted out of the truck and settled his hat on his head. When he strode around the front of his truck and up the walkway of the house on the other side of the street, I sighed heavily.
“Saw what?” Taylor pressed as I held my hand against my chest, my heart threatening to burst through my rib cage.
“Nothing.”
“Uh-uh. Nothing doesn’t have you turning white and looking like you’re going to puke.”
“It was nothing. Just a ghost,” I whispered before ducking back inside and starting the cleanup, suddenly anxious to get out of here and home to Cass.
A few hours later, after Cass was fed, bathed, and sleeping peacefully, I collapsed on the lounge completely rat shit exhausted. Living like this would kill me. I was constantly on edge in fear of losing everything, and it was ridiculous. Jake’s dad had passed away months ago, and I hadn’t seen him once. I had no reason to believe he would show up on my doorstep anytime soon, but I couldn’t shake the sinking feeling.
Lying back against the pile of cushions, I sipped my tea, absentmindedly flicking through the channels looking for something to watch. Nothing held my attention, but that didn't faze me. These days, not much did. I’d started reading and abandoned half a dozen books, given up on the trashy magazines, and even stopped watching some of my favorite shows on season fifteen, or maybe it was season sixteen.
When Mom handed me the jar of chocolates, a jar I noticed she’d topped up with my favorites, I was instantly on alert.
“What’s this for?” I asked, sitting up.
“What? Can’t a mother bring her favorite daughter something yummy?” Mom deflected.
“Only daughter,” I muttered before realizing what I’d said. The way Mom’s face fell had me feeling like an asshole, regretting my words. “Mom, I’m so sorry…” I started to apologize only for her to wave away my words.
“I got a call today.”
“Yeah?”
“Shelley called.”
“Shelley? As in Jake’s mom, Shelley?” I asked, sitting up straighter and setting my tea on the table in front of me before I ended up tipping it all over myself.
“Yes. She’s invited me to lunch tomorrow,” Mom continued.
“Why?”
“Kellie!” Mom scolded, and I knew I was being rude, but when it came to the Samuel’s family, space was my friend. “I’ve known Shelley a long time, and she’s just lost her husband. She called and invited me to lunch. Now I’m going to go, and it has nothing to do with you.”
“Are you going to tell her about Cassandra?” I choked out.
“What? Of course not. But I’m not going to lie to her either.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, if Shelley comes out and asks me if you had her son’s baby, I will say yes. Other than that, your secret is safe with me, but you need to think about fixing that.”
“Fixing what?” I stood up, exasperated.
It was only Tuesday, and it had already been a long week. I was beyond tired and full of anxiety. Carrying this secret would kill me, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do. It wasn’t like I could simply show up at Jake’s place, walk in and say, ‘Hi, I haven't seen or heard from you for three years, but guess what? You’ve got a daughter.’ Could I? As the days dragged by, I began to wonder if I should rip off the band-aid. Keeping this to myself had been easier when he was on the other side of the country. Now he was just down the road, everything seemed blurry.
“Kellie, I love you, and I’m on your side, always.” I shot Mom a skeptical look. Right now, it didn’t feel like she was on my side. “But we both know the time will come when Cass asks about her father. Then what are you going to tell her?”
Fuck off!
I had years before I would have to contemplate that question. Even though it’d been taunting me from the moment I peed on that plastic stick and changed my life forever.
“I’m going to tell her I love her very much.”
“And what if it’s not enough?”
Mom’s question hurt like nothing ever had. The sting passed through my body as my blood boiled. Fury consumed me. Storming from the room, I raced into my bedroom and grabbed my purse from the back of the door before marching straight back past Mom and out the front door.
