“Putting them back. Cassie wants to collect the eggs, so…”
“No. No way. Put the eggs back in the bowl,” I instructed, pinning her with my stare. This was ridiculous. “Cassie will be fine. I’ll take her out and introduce her to the chickens. We’ll check for the eggs, and if there aren’t any, I’ll just tell her we’ll have to check next time,” I shrugged, hoping it would be that easy.
I felt like I was wedged into a corner with nowhere to go. No matter which way I moved, someone was going to cry. And it was way too early in the morning for tears.
“But…”
“Come on, Mom. Put them back. Please,” I encouraged, hating how her shoulders sank as she walked back across the kitchen and put them away. “It will be fine. I promise.”
“Okay,” Mom replied, but it was almost the most unconvincing reply I’d heard. Almost. Kellie’s the other night took the cake for that one.
“Okay then. I’m going for a shower,” I confirmed again, this time heading out the door.
I was halfway up the stairs when Mom called my name. Standing at the bottom, she looked so small and nervous, wringing the towel in her hands. “Make sure you keep Cassie away from that damn rooster. He pecks anyone who goes near him, and I don’t want her to get scared,” Mom instructed with a small smile.
She might be pissed at Kellie and terrified of Cassie, but she already loved them both. And if we made it through today, maybe we’d be able to see what a real family looked like sooner rather than later. It was a thought that had me bouncing on my toes as I finished climbing the stairs and ducked into the bathroom.
After a longer shower than I planned, I stepped out and stared at the man in the mirror. He wasn’t the same one who’d packed his shit and headed to California all those years ago, and he certainly wasn’t the same one who’d returned home to bury his father.
When I’d arrived in California, I had been lost, homesick, and completely out of my depth. I moved into a house with a couple of guys from the station who had a spare room, and for the first month, all I’d done was work, work out, sleep, and miss the fuck out of Kellie. So many times I’d wanted to call her and explain. Call her and apologize. Call her just to hear her voice. But I knew if I made that call, it wouldn’t be fair to her. I’d already hurt her so much running out like the coward my father accused me of being. Reopening that wound wasn’t going to do either of us any good. Not in the long run, anyway. So, I pretended. With the old adage, fake it until you make it as my mantra, I settled in for a good time.
As the weeks went by, my roommates got sick of my moody ass and demanded I snap out of it. Dragging me to the bar a couple of nights a week, I tagged along because the beer was cold, and the burgers were good. The last thing I was looking for was a woman to warm my bed. I wasn’t even trying. I didn’t want anyone in my bed unless they were Kellie, and since that wasn’t an option, then my sheets would stay cold.
But weeks turned into months and not once did I hear from her, not that I expected to after what I did. With the days ticking over and life moving on, I started trying to build a life there. I wasn’t welcome at home. Dear old Dad had made that perfectly clear, and despite Mom’s hushed phone calls from the linen closet begging me to come back, I knew I couldn’t. So, I started dating. Then I started screwing around. I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I couldn’t offer anything more than a night rumpling the sheets and blowing off some steam. And it didn’t matter how many times I told some of them, whether they heard me or just thought they could change me, tears were shed. But at the end of the day, none of them mattered. All I had left of the only woman who had ever had a hold on my heart was the tattered photo in my wallet and a head full of memories.
Tightening my grip on the knot in the towel on my hip, I stepped out of the bathroom and across the hall into my room before kicking the door closed. Tugging on a clean pair of boxers, I dressed quickly, but obviously time had gotten away from me. As I was shrugging my T-shirt over my head, Kellie’s car rolled carefully down the driveway before it stopped just outside the front door.
I should’ve been moving.
I should’ve already been bounding down the stairs to meet my guests.
I should’ve been pulling on my socks.
Instead, I stood frozen, staring out the window as Kellie climbed from the car, looking like the girl who’d stolen my heart and transformed into the woman who owned it.
She wore a pair of jeans that molded to her ass and a white flowy top with something dotted all over it. Her hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, and her ever-present oversized sunglasses hid her eyes. But it was the tan leather cowgirl boots on her feet that had me reaching down and adjusting the growing bulge.
Slamming her door, she rounded her car, one that would need upgrading if she was going to be driving the roads out this way, and opened the back door. I couldn’t see what she was doing, but I didn’t have to. Cassie’s seat was on the passenger side of the car, and I had no doubt she was getting her organized.
A moment later, Cassie’s head appeared, and when Kellie reached for her hand, I was moving.
Meeting Mom on the landing, I noticed she had also changed, and I was pretty sure she was wearing makeup, something she rarely, if ever, wore these days. Guess we were all trying to impress today.
“Ready?” I asked her.
“What if she doesn’t like me?” Mom asked, and I laughed. The moment I did, I felt like an ass for doing it, but I couldn’t help myself. “You’re laughing at me? What sort of son did I raise?”
“I’m only laughing because last week that was my greatest fear.”
“So what? Because you had it first, I’m not allowed?” Mom snarked, her voice laced with annoyance.
“No, of course not. But once you meet Cassie, you’ll see that she’s pretty great, and she’s going to love you. Now, are you coming to meet your granddaughter?” I asked, holding out my hand to her.
Mom’s clammy palm landed in mine, and I led her through the house and out onto the porch.
It was a beautiful day. Perfect really. The sun shone, and the clouds scattered. It wasn’t too hot yet, and the breeze made everything bearable. Then there she was, wearing a light blue dress, her hair in pigtails, and brown boots like her mom. Kellie said she looked like me, but from where I was standing, she was a splitting image of her mother, and I was going to have one hell of a time keeping the boys away when she grew up. Good thing I had a gun and enough land to hide their bodies.
“Jake!” Cassie squealed when she saw me, dropping Kellie’s hand and racing toward me before throwing herself into my arms, trusting that I’d catch her. And she might not know it yet, but I always would.
