Sighing heavily, I wished Mom would let it go. I knew she wouldn’t, being she was a stubborn Texan woman, but it didn’t stop me from wishing she would.
“It’s not gone, Mom. I still love Kellie, and I probably always will,” I confirmed, hating the way Mom’s face lit up at my words. “But…” I continued, cutting her off before she started booking the church and ordering the cake. “I screwed up I left. I didn’t ask her to come with me, and I didn’t look back. Hell, I haven’t even spoken to her since that day,” I admitted painfully, rubbing the spot just above my heart that was suddenly aching.
“You never know until you talk to her.” Mom shrugged her shoulders and buried her hands in the pockets of her well-worn jeans.
Mom looked tired. Not that I could blame her. The past couple of months hadn’t been easy for her. But maybe for the first time, I looked at her and thought she looked old. Not that I’d ever say that to her. I didn’t have a death wish. I knew better than to tell her she needed sleep, a haircut, and a month lying on a tropical beach sipping fruity cocktails with no worries in the world. I might tower over her at six-foot-four, but she was still my mom, and she’d have no problem tanning my hide.
“I don’t know,” I conceded.
Talking to Kellie wouldn’t be easy. Hell, that woman was as stubborn as my mom and just as dangerous. Kellie wouldn’t hesitate to slap me, and I deserved it. I’d left her standing by the side of the driveway, tears streaming down her face, and the most painful howl being torn from her, a sound I’ll never forget as I drove away, shattering all our dreams and plans for our future. And what’s worse, she didn’t even know why. I should’ve told her, but it wasn’t her problem to solve. It was mine. So, I’d dealt with it the only way I knew how. I got out. I made my escape, leaving everything I knew and loved in my dust, determined to start fresh and build a new life. Three years later, I was back, standing in exactly the same spot I’d broken Kellie’s heart, unable to stop thinking about her and wondering about the woman she’d become.
“You’ll never know until you try,” Mom offered, coming to sit beside me and patting my thigh.
“I saw her mom at the gas station.”
“Marianne? How is she? I always meant to call when all that nastiness about Kellie’s sister happened,” Mom asked, perking up.
“She’s okay, I guess. She sends her condolences about your dad.”
“I should give her a call.”
My heart pounded in my chest. The last thing I needed was for my mom and Kellie’s mom to become besties. Those two had been trouble when we were teenagers. I could only imagine the matchmaking they’d get up to now if Kellie were even available.
Holy fuck!
That felt like a hot knife had just been plunged into the center of my chest. Even thinking about Kellie with another man made everything hurt.
Slumping forward, I sucked in a deep breath. For the last couple of years, I’d been working as a firefighter out of Sunnyville in California, and I’d loved it. I’d loved the town, the people, the brotherhood. It was exactly what I needed. I’d made some amazing friends, had a lot of fun, and learned a lot. But sitting out here under the Texas sun, I suddenly couldn’t breathe as I was taken right back to the night we’d been trapped in the bakery as it burned.
Zach, one of the other firefighters. and I had gone through the back door to evacuate the trapped workers. We managed to shuffle the last one out, a stubborn woman who declared she wanted to burn with her business because she’d have nothing anyway, barely a second before the beam came down, trapping us inside. The flames roared, the heat soared, and the smoke was so thick you could barely see. My lungs burned, and I can admit that I prayed for a miracle.
Thankfully, our miracle arrived. Grady and the other guys managed to get the front open and under control enough to drag us out without a second to spare. I’d spent the next two days in the hospital being doted on by the sexy nursing staff, some of whom slipped me their number with my pain meds.
I never told Mom.
I never told anyone.
The last thing I needed was people worrying about me.
It took a few weeks, but other than the scars across my shoulder, I was all healed again and back on the rig alongside my brothers.
Where I belonged right up until that moment, I got the phone call that my father had died.
“Don’t interfere, Mom,” I warned, already knowing it was a futile plea. Mom would interfere. She wouldn’t be her if she didn’t. She just couldn’t help herself.
“I would never,” Mom protested a little too hard. We both knew she absolutely, one hundred percent would. “Marianne’s been through a lot. I’m sure she’d like someone to talk to,” Mom countered, and I read between the lines. She needed someone to talk to her, and no matter how terrified I was, she’d try and find a way to get Kellie and me back together. If Mom needed a friend, then I wasn’t going to stand in her way.
“We both know you’re lying,” I called her out, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and squeezing her against me.
When she rested her head on my shoulder, I closed my eyes and let out the breath I’d been holding. I might not have wanted to come home and chosen this life, but I was glad I could be here for moments like this. We still had a million things we needed to figure out, our living situation for one, but we’d get there. Together. Mom had needed me, and there was suddenly nowhere else I wanted to be.
“I’m worried about you, Jake,” Mom murmured, not moving an inch.
“Don’t be. I’m fine,” I lied, wanting to make one thing easier for her.
“You’re a shitty liar, my boy, but I love you and want you to be happy.”
“I’ll get there. We both will. But for now, we just have to put one foot in front of the other and make it through the day.”
