As I crested the hill, the same one Kellie and I had laid out in the back of my truck almost a week ago, I couldn’t help but smile. Sure, the fooling around was hot as hell, and on my way back from dropping her home the next morning, I made a very important pit stop to pick up condoms, refusing to be caught in that situation again, but it was the snuggling and the talking that I’d been replaying over and over in my mind for the last couple of days.
She told me so much about Cass it felt like I already knew her. She patiently answered my questions, and when it all got too much and the memories became too painful, she buried her head against my chest and let me hold her while she sobbed. I hated that Kellie had gone through all that alone, that I hadn’t been there for her, for them, but never again.
I felt like I was holding my breath until Saturday when I got to see her again and finally got to meet Cassandra.
The sun rose, and we hadn’t slept a wink as I drove back toward town, Kellie yawning beside me, her hair mussed up and wearing one of my dirty old hoodies over her dress. I’d held her hand the whole way in, and the surprising thing was, she let me. It wasn’t until we were idling in her driveway that she let go.
“Thanks, Jake,” she replied almost timidly.
“You never have to thank me, Kellie. I had a good time.”
“Me too,” her cheeks turned pink, and I would’ve given my left nut to know what was going through her mind at that moment.
“I want to meet Cassandra,” I stated, and Kellie’s head almost spun off her neck.
“What? Now?”
It was barely six in the morning, and I smelled like grass, dirt, and Kellie. Something I wasn’t in a hurry to wash off anytime soon.
“No, not today.”
“Oh.” The relief on Kellie's face stung.
“What is it?” I asked, trying to keep calm. I realized I’d just sprung my request on a woman who hadn’t slept all night, but she had to know it was coming.
“It’s not that.” She waved, smiling at me.
“It’s not what?”
“I want you to meet her, Jake. I’ve always wanted you to meet her. Cass deserves the world’s best father in her life, and I know you can be that for her.” I couldn’t stop my chest from puffing up under her compliment. I was going to be the world’s best father to my daughter, or dammit to hell, I would die trying. So, when Kellie continued, I was surprised. “It’s just…”
“Just what?” I pressed.
“I just need time.”
“Time for what?”
“Time to tell her you exist.”
“Oh.” My heart sank.
“Please don’t be like that. It’s just we haven’t had that conversation. She’s still so young, Cass doesn’t understand. She doesn’t even realize you’re supposed to have a father. I knew the day would come when she’d put two and two together and ask me where you were…”
“And what were you going to tell her?” I asked, holding my breath.
“Honestly?”
“Always.”
“I had no idea. I figured by the time I had to have the conversation, I’d know what to say.”
“Fair enough.”
“What about Saturday?” Kellie tossed out, catching me off-guard. I’d been so caught up in my own head I’d lost track of where this conversation had even started.
“Saturday?”
“To meet Cassandra?”
