As I rolled over, the whole world rolled with me.
I felt like death warmed over, and what was worse, I knew I deserved it. I had a splitting headache, my mouth tasted like it’d been stuffed full of cotton wool, and the wire from my bra dug into me painfully.
I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could and willed the spinning to stop as I tried to remember all the mistakes I made last night. Drinking was obviously one of them because I was hungover as hell and paying for it.
Beside my head, my alarm sounded, and the moment the noise went, the need to pee was pressing. After a quick stop at the bathroom, I padded out to the kitchen in search of coffee. I’d just finished my second glass of water when something or someone smacked into my legs bumping me off-balance into the cabinets.
“Mom!” Cass screeched, looking up at me with wide eyes. Damn, she looked like her father, and seeing him last night only reminded me how much.
Shit!
Fuck!
Dammit!
I saw Jake last night.
I went to Jake’s house.
I threw up all over Jake’s front yard.
Fuck! I’m wearing Jake’s shirt.
It was like one blow after another.
Memories smashed into me from every direction while I plastered a smile on my face and scooped up Cass, nuzzling against her.
“Someone looks like they had a rough night,” Mom suggested, shooting me an all-knowing look.
I owed Mom an apology. She’d hit me with some home truths last night, truths I wasn’t ready to hear, but that wasn’t her fault. Then, like I was still a snot-nosed teenager who knew better, I’d taken off and left her with Cassandra. Even though I knew she would never complain about taking care of my daughter, Cass was my responsibility, and my needs had to come second. Last night I’d been too worked up to see past them, but now I couldn’t see anything else.
“I’m sorry about… well, everything. You were right,” I confirmed, hating having to admit it.
“I was right about what?” Mom asked smugly as she poured herself a mug of coffee and sat at the kitchen table.
“All of it. I can’t hide forever.”
“No, Kellie, you can’t.”
“But I’m scared,” I admitted.
“Oh, sweetheart,” Mom stood up, abandoning her coffee and coming toward me, wrapping me in a tight hug. It was one of those hugs that only a mother could give. Warm. Safe. Full of love and understanding. One that felt like she was holding all my broken pieces back together. When she brushed the hair out of my face, I knew she forgave me.
“It’s understandable to be scared. But, Kellie, it’s Jake. Just Jake. I saw him last night. I watched the way he took care of you. He carried you inside like you were the most precious thing in the world to him. He’ll be hurt, no doubt, but he’ll get past it. You need to be honest with him and trust him enough to take a chance.”
“Mom! Mom!” Cass chanted, tugging on my hand, interrupting us.
“Yes, princess?”
“Can I have a banana?”
“Of course. Why don’t you go sit in your chair, and I’ll get you one?” I told her, watching her scamper off in her pink princess pajamas.
Three years had flown by. How I was the mother of a three-year-old tornado, I’d never know. But Cass was my world, and I’d move heaven and earth to protect her.
Once Cass was settled in, eating her fruit, I returned to my coffee, my foggy head filled with a million questions. Mainly if or when I was going to see Jake again. And why did I care?
“I’m going to have a quick shower. Are you able to take me to pick up my car?” I asked.
