I don’t remember much that had happened in the last hour. One minute I’d been checking in on a couple of patients, the next I was running down the hallways, almost knocking over the lunch trolley, then after that everything was a blur.
Everything except Doctor Reynolds' words.
Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.
The words kept rattling around in my head, taunting me.
And even though I knew exactly what that meant, even though I knew exactly what Isla was up against, it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
So many times, too many times, I’d been the one delivering the bad news. Watching as disbelief then fear took hold of the parents, and they started begging for a different diagnosis. Any diagnosis other than the one they'd been handed. Part of the problem was the ‘c’ word. We’d all been coached to believe it was a death sentence and sometimes, it was true. But there were fighters out there who could beat the odds. And fuck did I hope Isla was a fighter.
“What are you going to do?” Liam asked as he dropped into the chair opposite me.
“I have no idea.”
I needed to talk to Luke before any decisions were made. I couldn’t be Isla’s doctor, even if he wanted me to. I was too close to her. Sure, it’d be unethical, but it would also be too hard. Way too fucking hard.
I loved that kid like she was my own and my heart was destroyed hearing her diagnosis. There's no way, even if it was allowed, I’d be able to be the one subjecting her to the pain. I wouldn’t cope.
“You going to add her as a patient?”
“No,” I answered quickly.
“You sure? You’re the best …”
“Not for Isla I’m not. I want to see if Lucy will take her.”
Lucy was an amazing oncologist even if she was only new to the hospital. She’d transferred in from Boston a couple of weeks ago and was still finding her feet, but I already knew she was good. Call it women’s intuition, call it gut feeling. What I’d seen, so far I liked.
“I’m sure she will if you ask her.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, rubbing my temples, wishing away the headache I didn’t have time to deal with.
“And how are you coping?”
“Me? I’m fine. I’m not the one …”
“I know you’re not the one lying in the hospital bed, but, Charlotte, don’t forget I know you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snarled at him bitchily only for Liam to smile. Asshole didn't even have the audacity to pretend to be afraid of me.
“Ouch! Stow the claws,” he teased, trying to get me to smile.
Liam might think he knew me, but I knew him just as well. Maybe even better than he was ready to admit. But that was his story to tell for another day.
“What I mean is, I know it hurts your pure little heart whenever the news comes through that a kid is in for the fight for their life. I know you’ve spent more hours crying in your office than you have actually doing paperwork. And I know you spend extra hours here, just hanging out with them and trying to make it as easy as possible for them to fight through. You’ve written submissions for extra funding just to get them more electronics to distract them. You made them upgrade the Jell-O because it tasted better …”
“Well, it does taste better,” I told him, refusing to let him downplay the effects Jell-O could have.
“And you do it all because you care. And now Isla … You might not be ready to say it, you might be in denial about being in love with that gorgeous hunk of man meat, but you’re certainly in love with his daughter.”
“I love them both,” I told him not one bit ashamed.
“And they love you,” Luke added, stepping into my doorway.
The poor guy looked exhausted. I doubted he’d slept a wink last night and I knew he needed a shower, but I also knew how stubborn he was. There was no way I was going to be able to convince him to take a break.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, rising from the chair and wiping my hands on my pants.
