Standing, I reached out and shook his hand.
“What’s going on? How is he? Is it the cancer? Is it back?”
Seeing me standing there, I could see why he’d jumped to that conclusion. I wished it was only that easy.
“Did you want to sit down?” I invited.
“Charlotte. Please.” The desperation on Kathy’s face caused me physical pain. My stomach turned over and I rubbed my belly protectively.
“James was brought in by ambulance. He was unresponsive and required resuscitation. The paramedics got him here and our team went to work. James suffered a pulmonary embolism.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a blood clot in his lungs. That’s why he was having such a hard time breathing.”
“That sounds bad,” Peter said, wrapping his arm around his wife’s shoulder and holding her close to him.
Ignoring Peter’s comment, I pressed on.
“Despite their best efforts, unfortunately they weren’t able to resuscitate him.” Fuck! I almost choked on the words.
“And in English?” Peter pushed.
“I’m so sorry, Peter. He’s gone.”
Silence fell over the room and I wanted to vomit.
When Kathy digested my word a pained scream ‘Nooooooooooooo’ fell from her lips and her husband tightened his grip on his wife as she fell apart.
The next ten minutes were a blur. I answered every question they asked as honestly as I could but there were so many unknowns.
When there was nothing more I could say, I hugged them tightly, offered them my deepest sympathies and watched as they left, knowing I’d never see them again.
Operating on autopilot, I straightened the room, pushing in the chairs and kicking the now overflowing, tissue-filled trash basket back into the corner before straightening my top. When I’d dressed this morning, I thought my llama-filled scrubs were fun, but now I wasn’t feeling so smiley.
I’d made it halfway down the hallway before I felt like I’d been sucker-punched in the stomach. Hunching forward I put my hands on my knees and sucked in deep, desperate breaths. My head spun, and dizziness consumed me and I slid down the wall, landing my butt on the floor. Hugging my knees to my chest, I dropped my head in my hands and focused on my breathing.
When a hand landed on my shoulder I almost jumped out of my skin.
“Hey. Are you okay?” A smooth, velvety voice asked.
I looked up into the kindest face I could ever hope to see and burst into tears.
6
LUKE
She cried big,snotty tears.
They were painful cries, torn from the back of her throat and making my own chest tighten.
I’d only meant to stop and check if she was okay. Normally, if someone asked if you were okay, the standard answer was to say you were fine. This woman, the one with the llama scrubs and long ponytail with a blue-spotted bow, was crying like her heart had just been shattered.
Not knowing what to do, I looked up and down the corridor, trying to flag down someone who could help. When there was no one in sight, I slid down the wall beside her and patted her forearm supportively.
I didn’t know her.
I didn’t know her name, what she did, or where she was from. I don't know what caused her tears and I had no idea how to stop them.
