She’d been championing her case for weeks. Apparently, the weekend I’d taken Isla away for a much-needed time out and belated birthday present, Charlotte had shown up looking for me.
I was in Indianapolis spending time with my daughter. Isla needed it. We both did. It was an amazing weekend away. We ate junk, stayed in a hotel, and spent the day at the zoo. Seeing Isla smiling and carefree again was exactly what I needed. We didn’t talk about hospitals or treatments or her being sick and for a few important hours, we pretended she wasn’t.
Sighing heavily, I was tired of having the same argument. “Charlotte wasn’t there. She wasn’t here when I needed her the most. When we needed her.”
“Have you ever stopped to ask why? You know Charlotte. That’s not something she would do without a good reason,” Mrs. Neal countered. I don’t know what Charlotte had said to her, but Mrs. Neal had turned into her biggest fan.
“From what I heard, you don’t even want to know why, Luke.”
“Does it even matter?”
“Of course it matters. You’re miserable without her. Isla misses her, and whether or not you want to admit it, you miss her too, Luke. Maybe listen to one of the million and one voice messages she’s left you or read one of the texts. Or better yet, go and talk to the girl. Even if you don’t like what she has to say, at least you’ll know why she made the choices she did. Who knows, Charlotte might surprise you,” Mrs Neal lectured, and a tsunami of guilt crashed over me.
“I thought I knew her. But turns out, I was wrong.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yeah, I do,” I replied sadly. “I’ll drop her stuff off to her this morning,” I confirmed, staring at the overnight bag that’d been sitting by the door for a week.
“Do yourself a favor, Luke. Before you go and say goodbye to the best thing that ever happened to you, take a breath and listen.”
Needing to end this before I completely caved, I agreed to think about it. Not that I’d done much else for the last couple of months. I’d done nothing else. Even when I was hurt and angry and staring at my phone, my fingers itching to call her and ask her why, I still missed her. It was the ache in my chest that wouldn’t go away. It didn’t help that Isla refused to let go either. Any time we went anywhere or did anything, she asked if Charlotte was joining us and there were only so many times I could tell her she was working.
The other night, after a couple of angry beers and one hell of a tantrum from Isla, I’d bitten the bullet and packed every trace of Charlotte into a bag. All that was left to do was drop it off, but the truth was, I was avoiding it. This was the end. Once this was done, any connection I had to Charlotte was gone.
With a shake of her head, Mrs. Neal piled a plate high and pushed it toward me. “You’re not wrong, Luke. You’re stubborn. And you’re hurt. And that’s okay. But if you don’t pull your head out of your ass, you’re going to lose her.”
“You can’t lose something you don’t have,” I grumbled, sinking onto the stool and taking a bite, barely tasting it.
Pushing aside the gurgling in my stomach, I focused on getting Isla ready for school. Once she was bundled up and ready to head out the door, she saw Charlotte’s bag and asked about her. Again. Questions I got almost every day only reinforced my anger. It wasn’t just me Charlotte had bailed on. She’d abandoned Isla at the moment she needed her the most, and for that, no matter what excuse she came up with, I couldn’t forgive her. I wouldn’t.
Once the kitchen was clean, Mrs. Neal tried to organize Isla and get her out the door. I had twenty minutes before I had to go and instead of doing all the things I should, I poured myself another coffee and sat and enjoyed the quiet, trying to find the courage to do what needed to be done. Knowing it was the right thing was one thing, but it didn’t make it any easier.
Changing into my uniform, I grabbed the bag taunting me and headed toward the hospital. Hoping I could get in and out without having to see her, I slung the bag over my shoulder and squared my shoulders, making a beeline for the admin counter.
“Can I help … Luke,” the guy sitting behind the computer screen said recognizing me but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember his name.
“Hi.”
“Are you here to see Charlotte? I can find her for you,” he offered, already on his feet looking like he was ready to sprint through the corridors.
“No. I just wanted to leave this for her,” I corrected, pointing to the bag. “Can I leave it with you?”
He didn’t look so sure, but he rounded the counter and came out to stand in front of me.
“What is it?”
What did he think it was? A bomb? “Just some stuff she left at my place.” I shrugged, trying to look like this whole situation wasn’t affecting me.
“Don’t you want to give it to her yourself?” he asked, leading me away from the counter and the nosy people poking their heads up trying to listen to every word.
“No. That’s not necessary.”
“Are you sure?”
“Excuse me?”
“Are you sure it’s not necessary?” he pushed again, and I got the feeling he had an opinion on the situation. I guess he should. He was the one who’d been in her bedroom that afternoon. She should’ve been with us. Liam. That was him.
