Widening my legs as far as I could, I slid a finger inside, groaning at the intrusion as my walls clamped down. Pushing back and forth, it wasn’t enough. Adding a second, I plucked my nipple and bit down on my lip, my hips gaining rhythm as I thrust in and out faster and faster.
“Oh fuck,” I muttered as a familiar tingle started at the base of my spine and my toes started to curl.
Faster. Harder. More.
It wasn’t enough.
My orgasm hit me and instead of riding out the wave, I wanted more. Increasing my tempo, I flicked my already sensitive clit, grimacing as the second snuck up on me and knocked me sideways.
“Hayden!” I cried as I pulled my hand away and dropped my head back against the bath, huffing and puffing like I’d just run a marathon.
Now the itch was scratched, I relaxed in the water waiting for my heart rate to return to normal. Grabbing a washcloth, I trailed it over my body, trying to wash away the shame. I wished it was someone else I was picturing when pure passion engulfed me. Anyone else. Anyone but Hayden. But the problem was, I couldn’t. In the moment of total bliss, he was the one I saw. It was his name on my lips. He was something I couldn’t shake. And what’s worse, deep down I don’t think I wanted to.
Hayden was something I shouldn’t want, but craved desperately. I wasn’t a ho. I didn’t pretend I was a saint, but the few guys I’d slept with had been boring and uninspired. Hayden though, he hadn’t held back. At least I didn’t think he had, and if he was keeping some tricks up his sleeve, I was definitely interested in finding out firsthand exactly what they were. He’d not only embraced my somewhat experimental side and he hadn’t batted an eyelid when I’d asked for exactly what I wanted.
The itch may have been scratched but it didn’t satisfy. If I didn’t get out of the water now, I’d end up going back down the rabbit hole again only to be left feeling just as guilty and unsatisfied as I did now. Pulling the plug, I climbed out, dressed quickly, and made up the couch ready to settle in for another shitty night’s sleep.
The next morning I headed to the hospital to pick up Kellie and Cassandra. I don't know why I was so excited. Cassie wasn’t mine. Hell, I wasn’t even a distant aunt, but I couldn’t help bouncing on the balls of my feet while I waited, so when Kellie asked me to carry the car seat, I almost cried.
I managed to get them home and settled and both were soon napping in Kellie’s room. We’d barely been home an hour when Kellie had dissolved in tears, convinced she was a bad mother. Cassie had cried and Kellie freaked. She rambled about little girls needing their daddy and not bringing her up like this. She complained that Cassie deserved the world and she couldn’t give it to her. When I’d finally convinced her to stop and take a breath, we figured out that Cassie just had a dirty diaper and now they were both asleep. I’d read about postpartum depression but never seen it. I hoped for Kellie’s sake, this wasn’t that. This was just her being scared and sore and overwhelmed.
While they slept, I sat out the front in the weathered old rocking chair enjoying the afternoon sunshine surrounded by flower beds filled with butterflies.
My phone vibrated in my hand and I looked down and saw Hayden’s name flashing on the screen. Standing up, I headed down the path. The last thing I wanted to do was wake them.
“Hi,” I whispered as I answered his call.
“Is this a bad time?”
“No, no. I’m just walking away from the house so Kellie can sleep.”
“Oh. Okay. How’s she doing?” Hayden asked with a hint of worry in his voice.
“She’s tired and overwhelmed. I only got them home a little while ago so I think she’ll be fine once they settle into their routine. But she’s gotta stop beating herself up about what she can’t change and focus on what she can.”
“Sounds familiar,” Hayden replied dryly.
“Anyway, making it easier for them is why I need your help.”
“Shoot.”
“Kellie’s dad, Cassidy’s dad, is contesting the will. Everything’s held up while her estate gets sorted and Kellie could really use the help. Hayden, the place she’s living in is shit.”
“Tell me what you know,” he requested, sounding like the cop I knew he was.
For the next twenty minutes I shared with him everything I’d learned about the man who’d, in the end, been nothing more than a sperm donor. Kellie told me she hadn’t seen or heard from him in years and from what she knew, neither had Cassidy, but apparently he was back. Back from whatever rock he’d crawled out from under and wanted a handout.
“Fucking lowlife scumbag,” Hayden grumbled, as I finished telling him.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Let me see what I can do. I don’t have much to go on so I’m going to have to get in touch with Marianne. Any idea how she’s going to handle that?”
“From what Kellie’s told me, she might like someone to talk to. Someone she knows doesn’t want anything from her.”
“No worries. Let me give her a call and do some digging. I’m not making promises…”
“And I’m not asking for any.”
