“Please, Hayden. Just hold me. Just for tonight. I don’t want to be alone right now.” Skye looked up at me for the first time with tear-filled eyes and I knew there was no way I could walk away, so when she wriggled over in the bed making room, I did what I had to.
18
SKYE
I was sitting there,picking at my nails wondering how much longer until Hayden made it home.
It’d been three days since I’d humiliated myself, and since then, we’d been creeping around each other like we were walking on eggshells. It was bullshit and I hated it and I was putting a stop to it the moment he showed his face.
My bag was packed and ready to go, I had a hotel room by the airport booked tonight and tomorrow morning I’d fly back to my parents’ place and start trying to move on. I wasn’t stupid enough to think it’d be easy, but I had to try. Staying here, surrounded by memories, rooming with the guy who loved her more than life itself wasn’t healthy and as much as it made me feel like a bitch, I chose to believe Cassidy wouldn’t want this life for me. She’d want me out there living, having fun, laughing..
As much as I needed to go, I wasn’t about to leave without saying goodbye.
Hayden was a good man, one of the best really, he deserved a proper goodbye and a thank you. Probably an apology too. He’d asked me to help and all I’d done was make it all harder. He was struggling, there was no doubt, but I was too messed up myself to be able to help him. I needed to help myself first. And I know that made me sound like a selfish cow, but until I refilled my well, I had nothing left to give.
Checking my phone again, it was already after six and I was starving. I hadn’t planned on waiting this long but I wasn't leaving until I’d spoken to him. When seven o’clock rolled around and there was still no word, I grabbed my purse and headed out to find food. Even though I’d spent the entire day deep cleaning Hayden’s apartment and stocking his pantry and fridge with actual edible food, it didn’t feel right helping myself. Besides, I was craving a piece of pie.
Stepping outside, I was almost blown away by the icy cold wind whipping through the streets and shivered in my thin jacket. I was halfway to the diner, a hole in the wall Cass hadn’t been able to stop raving about, when the rain came and started splattering me. Picking up my pace, I hurried down the street hoping inside the heater was on and the pie was good. If I’d gone through all this for a piece of shitty pie, then I was going to be pissed.
Seeing the flickering pink neon sign up ahead, I sighed a huge sigh of relief. Almost falling through the front door, a few people looked up, glaring in my direction but most just ignored me, something I was perfectly fine with. Smoothing down my hair, I shrugged off my wet coat and made a beeline to the back. A nice, cozy corner booth where I could hide from the world would be just perfect.
I’d almost made it across the restaurant when my wet shoes slipped on the linoleum floor and I started falling. I don't know if I was falling forwards or backwards or both. My arms were windmilling, and I was going down, and going down hard.
Two huge hands grabbed me, and I squeaked barely a second before smashing my head on the sticky floor.
“Fuck!” I swore as I panted breathlessly, the adrenaline pumping through my veins like a drug.
When he righted me, I looked up at the man whose hands were still on my hips, steadying me, and into the face of someone I’d come to know well. Maybe too well.
“Hayden?” I asked not bothering to hide my shock. “What are you doing here?”
We both knew the answer. He was hiding. Hiding from me. Hiding from the world. Shame it wasn’t going to work. I was proof of that. You think you have it all together. You think you’re hanging in there but then WHAM! Life comes by and blindsides you. Your whole world ends up upside down and you can barely breathe.
“I... I... I just…” Watching him stumble over his words was painful.
“You were just hiding?”
“No!” he protested quickly. Too quickly. “I just…”
“Needed pie?” I asked, letting him off the hook. Torturing him, even over something as trivial as a piece of pie might be fun, but he didn’t look like he was in the mood for a laugh.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Hayden sat down in the chair he’d knocked over, picked up his fork and stabbed the piece of pie in front of him unenthusiastically. “Yeah, something like that.”
That was the moment I should’ve said, “Enjoy your dessert” and walked away. It was the moment I should’ve respected him enough to realize he wasn’t here for the pie. He was here for the memories this place held. Instead, I asked if I could join him.
Shock was written all over Hayden’s face. A face that looked tired and haggard and in need of a good night’s sleep and a decent meal. A decent home cooked meal. I mean sleeping on the couch couldn’t be comfortable but it didn’t seem to matter how many times I offered to swap, he wouldn’t budge. Then working the hours he did in a job that was beyond stressful when his head was so messed up, trying to deal with everything, I was amazed he could put one foot in front of the other.
“Sure,” Hayden replied, his voice wavering.
Dropping into the chair opposite him, I ordered coffee, a chocolate milkshake, and a couple of slices of pie. When the waitress reappeared a few minutes later, she set everything down between us before scurrying away.
Hayden chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that made me set my drink down and look at him. Maybe I’d just broken him, because I honestly had no clue what he was laughing at.
“What?” I asked as I wiped at my face with a napkin wondering if I had food on it. With my luck, it wouldn’t have surprised me.
With a shake of his head, Hayden lifted his mug filled with what looked like tar to his lips and took a sip. “I can see why you and Cassidy were friends. You’re so much alike it’s almost scary.”
I felt the smile pull at my cheeks. “No way.”
