“I think they already have,” I admitted, shame flooding me.
“No, they haven’t.”
I shook my head as tears trickled down my cheeks. Isla was saying everything I needed to hear but wasn’t ready to. She seemed to think I was strong enough to beat this. And if anyone had asked me a week ago, I would’ve agreed, but now, everything had changed. Everything was different. I was different. And I wasn’t sure I could go back.
“I’m so afraid. Seth just bumped into me and I almost screamed. I’m a mess.”
“Yeah, you are,” Isla confirmed with a sad smile. “But you know how I can tell that they didn’t win?”
“How?”
“Because you only almost screamed. Almost. You didn’t. Which just proves that you’re stronger than you’re willing to believe. And for right now, that’s enough. But one day soon that kick-arse country girl is going to come storming back to life and God help whoever gets in her way.”
For a minute I sat there mulling over Isla’s words, wondering if she could possibly be right. Part of me hoped she was. But then on the other hand, the other part of me, the part that was consuming me was too busy trying to convince me that it was too late. I guess only time would tell.
“I hope so,” I admitted truthfully.
I wasn’t used to being like this, and if I was being honest, I hated the fact that I was, but I couldn’t shake it. I’d tried to go on as normal, but two steps off the porch and I’d had an anxiety attack so bad it had Warner carrying me back up the stairs and holding me until I cried myself to sleep in his arms. It wasn’t my finest hour, and it was definitely something I wasn’t keen to repeat.
“You’ll get there. And until then, just trust the people who love you and lean on them. Let them be your strength.”
“It’s hard.”
“I know. But it’s the only way.”
I hated knowing she was right.
“Now, hurry up and finish with these and get your butt back out there. There’s a really cute guy sitting at the bar shredding my napkins waiting to talk to you,” Isla ordered with a wink.
“A guy?”
My heart was pounding.
I knew exactly who was waiting and although I owed him an explanation, I wasn’t sure I was ready to face him. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I know I wasn’t. But Seth was here and he was waiting. I had to suck it up and go face the music.
Packing the last of the napkins back in the box, I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes, and headed out to face the music.
