“Potato. Pot-a-toh.”
“Seriously though, you sure you’re okay?”
Was I okay? That was the million-dollar question. And if I had a dollar for every time someone had asked me that in the past twelve hours, my money troubles would be a thing of the past. I wasn’t okay. I was so far from okay, NASA was going to have to send a space shuttle to get me there. But I couldn’t let anyone see it. Jason already thought I needed looking after, there was no way I was about to confirm it.
“I will be,” I replied determined. It wasn’t like I had a choice. As much as I’d like to hide under the covers and pretend the world didn’t exist, as much as I’d like to rewind the last twenty-four hours, back to when I woke up wrapped in Seth’s arms, I wasn’t living in a fairy-tale. This was real life. And my life really sucked right now. But I’d get there. I’d bounce back. I had no idea when or how, but I would. There were no other options.
“Well, if you need anything…”
“I know where to find you. Thanks, Jason.”
“Anytime, Claire. Get some rest.”
“I will.”
He stood up, his knees cracking loudly as he winced before hobbling towards the door.
“Hey, Jason?” I called out as he turned the handle.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for helping with Seth. He’s a good guy, I just couldn’t deal with…”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Claire. You do you and the rest can wait.”
Feeling like I did need to explain, I ignored his comment and pressed on. Maybe I needed to hear it myself so I believed it. “I don’t want Seth to see me like this. I don’t want to see the pity in his eyes. The last thing I need is for him looking at me like… like you are right now.”
“Hey! What am I doing wrong?”
“Nothing. You’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. I know you want to go find the guy and beat his arse. And you want to take my pain away…Am I wrong?”
“Not entirely.”
“But this is something you can’t fix.”
“I really want to.”
“I know you do. And I appreciate it. But we both know you can’t. And Seth can’t either. And I like the guy. I don’t want him to think I’m broken…”
“But you are.” Jason’s words stung a little, but I couldn’t blame him. Right now, I felt broken. But I’d get there. I just needed some time.
“I’m not, but that’s what you see. It’s what Seth will see. And I don’t want that.”
“I get that.”
“Thanks Jason. You’re a good guy.”
He bent down and kissed my forehead so softly it was barely there. “You’re an awesome girl Claire. And you got this. You know that. And we’ve got your back. All you need to do is ask.”
“I know. And I appreciate it.”
With a nod, he closed the door softly and left me sitting there staring at the ceiling. Part of me knew he was right. I owed Seth an apology. None of this was his fault, but not today. Today I was on doctors’ orders to stay in this bed and try and rest. I’d already been scolded once for getting up from Isaac, I wasn’t really keen on testing the limits.
Wriggling back down in my bed as carefully as I could, I untucked the sling from around my neck and flexed my fingers. They were sore and swollen but I’d live. After swallowing down a couple of pain pills, I lay back down in my nest, closed my eyes, and willed sleep to drag me under. It was all too much. Too many thoughts. Too many worries. Future Claire could deal with them. They’d still be there tomorrow or the next day. Today, I napped.
My eyes sprang open. Someone was in my room.
“Fuck it!” I heard them swear.
