“I’m fine.”
“Seth…”
“I know, Luca. Okay. I know. I’m not there yet. But I will be. I just need a little more time. I’ll get there.”
“I don’t doubt that. Never did. But I just wanted to make sure that when you do, you’re there in one piece. That you haven’t burnt yourself before you even take the field.”
“Well, you better get me on the field then,” I chuckled, trying to take the heavy out of it. Luca wasn’t having it.
“Tomorrow’s a day off. There’s no scheduled training and no commitments.”
“Sounds good.”
It did. A day off meant a day of doing my own thing without the prying eyes watching and measuring my every move. I could get twice as much done on a day off than I did when we had scheduled sessions.
“You’re taking the day off. If I so much as see you walking down to the beach, I’ll bench your arse for a month.”
“You can’t do that, Luca,” I protested. I mean, he probably could, but it was the last thing I wanted.
“I can, Seth. And I will.”
Exasperated, I sighed, running a hand through my wet hair. “Why?”
“Because I’ve been where you are now. You’re so desperate to prove yourself to everyone you’re going to do damage. You’re already carrying an injury…” I went to argue, and he held up his hand halting my protests. “It may only be minor, but if you’re going to have the career you want, the one you dream about, then slow down. Enjoy the ride. The rest will come.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“It will.”
“You don’t know that.”
Luca threw one parting shot my way before leaving me standing there like a chump weighing his words. “Yeah, Seth, I do.”
Collapsing on my bed, I lay there staring at the ceiling pondering my life. Was this the life I wanted? It’s all I’d ever known, but somewhere along the way I’d stopped wondering if it was what I wanted or what I just expected to happen. Even though I knew now was not the time for a crisis of conscience, I couldn’t help it. All my eggs were in this basket, it had to work. I didn’t have a back-up plan. I’d barely graduated high school, the downside of missing too many classes with football camps and training sessions, something that at the time was awesome, and most of my friends were envious as hell – while they were stuck in a classroom learning to recite Romeo and Juliet, I was down at the football club doing a weights session with the Australian under eighteen team. Now I was wondering if I’d made the wrong choice.
This is why I preferred to keep busy. Idle hands meant I had time to think and nothing good could ever come from me having too many thoughts.
Seth:You around?
I shot a text to Claire wondering if she was free to talk. For some reason I felt like less of a loser when I confided in her. I didn’t really have anyone else I could turn to. While Luca might like to think I could come to him, and he’d offered more than a dozen times to be an ear if I ever needed one, he was still first and foremost my coach. The one who held my future in his hands. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to him and whine.
I considered calling Bryce. He’d been there. Fucked it up multiple times, yet somehow, he still managed to get his shit together. Now he had the career, the accolades, the house, the girl, and the baby on the way. Or babies in his case.
While I contemplated my navel, my phone was frustratingly silent. I was glad Claire got a job. I really was. And I was even happier she’d found some girlfriends who she seemed to adore, but it’d been two weeks since I’d seen her. Two weeks since I’d left her in bed, hungover and regretting her decision. We’d talked a couple of times and exchanged texts each day, but it wasn’t the same. Running the dunes in the morning without her peach-shaped arse bouncing up there in front of me felt like an incentive less venture. It definitely wasn’t as much fun.
When she did have time off, I was in scheduled sessions. Then there was the issue of where we could meet up if we could ever find the time. With Luca and Elise here, I didn’t feel comfortable bringing her back here. And there was no way in hell I was staying at her place. The last thing I wanted was for her brother and his mates to hear her moan. That was for my ears only.
Picking up my phone, I started scrolling through property listings. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to buy or rent and I had no idea what I was looking for, but I was hoping something would jump out and speak to me. Something preferably fully furnished so I didn’t have to think about it.
I was almost asleep when my phone chirped. Rolling over, I groped around trying to grab it before picking it up and knocking everything else off my bedside table. I’d deal with it later.
Seeing Claire’s name made me smile and wake up a little more.
Claire:Is this a booty call
Claire:
It wasn’t a booty call; I hadn’t even been thinking about that earlier when I’d sent the text, but it didn’t mean I was opposed to the idea.
